top of page

FOLLOW US

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Threads
  • LinkedIn

How Parents Can Support Foster Children Struggling with Binge Eating and Overeating

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Mar 1

Supporting foster children struggling with binge eating requires understanding the emotional trauma they’ve experienced and offering compassionate guidance. Foster parents can play a vital role by creating a safe, stable environment and helping children develop healthier coping mechanisms for emotional stress.

Navigating Gender Dysphoria: When Is Help Needed, and How Can We Support Our Teens?

Foster care children often face emotional and physical challenges that many of us can't even imagine. Among these struggles, binge eating and overeating can be a hidden yet significant issue affecting children in foster care. The trauma of abuse, neglect, and instability can manifest in complex ways, and overeating is sometimes the way these children cope with the emotional scars left by their past. As a foster parent, understanding the connection between foster care experiences and unhealthy eating habits is key to providing the right support and care.


The Impact of Foster Care on Mental Health


Children entering foster care often come from situations where they experienced neglect, instability, or abuse. These traumatic experiences can deeply affect their emotional and mental well-being. When a child has faced situations beyond their control, such as unpredictable meals, food scarcity, or emotional neglect, food can quickly become a means of finding comfort or control.


Binge eating and overeating are common coping mechanisms for many children dealing with emotional trauma. Food becomes a source of comfort in an otherwise chaotic world, but this pattern can quickly spiral into unhealthy eating habits. For some foster children, overeating becomes an escape from overwhelming emotions they don’t know how to process. It’s a way to fill the emotional void that their trauma has created, but it often leads to physical and mental health issues down the road.


Recognizing the Signs of Binge Eating and Overeating


As a foster parent, being able to recognize the signs of binge eating or overeating is critical for offering timely support. These behaviors might not be immediately obvious, especially if the child is good at hiding their actions or feelings. Here are some common signs to look out for:


  • Eating Large Quantities of Food in One Sitting: This can happen even when the child isn't physically hungry.

  • Secretive Eating: The child may eat in secret or attempt to hide food wrappers or leftovers, which can be an indication of binge eating episodes.

  • Repeated Overeating Despite Feeling Full: Your child might continue eating even after they've had enough, or may constantly talk about food.

  • Frequent Emotional Overeating: Turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or sadness is often a sign of overeating due to emotional triggers.

  • Social Withdrawal and Shame: The child may express shame or embarrassment about eating habits and could avoid social situations involving food.


These behaviors often arise as a means of self-soothing, but they can also serve as a way for children to regain a sense of control when other aspects of their life feel unpredictable or out of their hands.


How Foster Parents Can Help


Supporting a foster child with binge eating or overeating requires a delicate and compassionate approach. Here are some ways you can help:


  1. Create a Safe and Predictable Environment: Stability and routine are incredibly important for foster children who have experienced trauma. A predictable routine around mealtimes can give children a sense of security, which might reduce the need to overeat as a means of control. Keep mealtimes consistent, calm, and free of pressure.


  2. Address Emotional Needs: Often, overeating is a response to unmet emotional needs. Help your child identify their feelings by providing a safe space for them to express their emotions. Encourage open conversations about their experiences and feelings, letting them know it’s okay to talk about difficult topics.


  3. Focus on Health, Not Weight: Instead of focusing on weight or appearance, create conversations about healthy eating habits. Encourage positive conversations about nourishing the body and treating it with respect, rather than tying food to emotions like shame, guilt, or punishment.


  4. Limit Emotional Eating Triggers: Help your child find healthy outlets for stress or emotional pain, such as art, physical activity, or journaling. When they feel overwhelmed, teach them other coping mechanisms that don’t involve food, like breathing exercises, mindfulness, or talking through their feelings.


  5. Encourage Professional Support: Binge eating and overeating can be symptoms of deeper emotional trauma, and professional therapy or counseling can be incredibly helpful. A therapist specializing in trauma or eating disorders can help your child learn to identify and manage emotional triggers, as well as develop healthier coping mechanisms.


  6. Model Healthy Behavior: Children learn a lot from what they see. Model healthy eating habits, self-care routines, and healthy relationships with food. Your example can go a long way in helping your child learn to treat food as nourishment, not a way to cope with feelings.


  7. Celebrate Small Wins: Recovery from overeating or binge eating is a gradual process. Celebrate small milestones, like choosing a healthy snack or discussing emotions openly. These moments can help your child feel empowered and motivated to continue on their journey to emotional and physical healing.


A Lifeline in Times of Struggle


As a foster parent, you hold a pivotal role in supporting children with binge eating or overeating behaviors. Your compassion and commitment can help guide them toward healthier eating habits and, more importantly, emotional healing. Your home can be a place where they find security, support, and the tools to cope with their trauma in healthy ways.


Eye-Opening Question:


How can we, as a society, better equip foster parents with the tools and resources needed to help children struggling with emotional eating and binge eating disorders?


By understanding the root causes of these behaviors and providing the right support, we can create a future where every child in foster care has the opportunity to heal, grow, and develop healthy relationships with food and themselves.


 

More Related Articles:

When Childhood Trauma Takes Over: Are You Fighting Your Partner or Your Past?

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Jan 3

Childhood trauma takes over in unexpected moments, often resurfacing during conflicts with loved ones, making you react from a place of past pain instead of present reality. When childhood trauma takes over, it can feel as though you're fighting ghosts from the past, projecting unresolved hurt onto the people who care about you most.

When Childhood Trauma Takes Over: Are You Fighting Your Partner or Your Past?

When emotions flare in relationships, the triggers often feel too strong to ignore. You may find yourself suddenly in the middle of an argument that spirals out of control, feeling overwhelmingly furious or deeply hurt by something your partner said or did. But what if the real battle isn’t with your partner at all? What if, in that moment, you’re not fighting them—you’re fighting your past?


For those who’ve experienced childhood trauma—whether it be physical, emotional, or neglectful—it’s easy to forget that the wounds from that time are still present. They live in your body, in your mind, and unfortunately, they show up in your present relationships, often without warning. When you’re triggered, it may feel as if the past is coming alive again, as though the same emotional abuse or abandonment from your childhood is happening in real time, except this time, it's your partner who becomes the face of your abuser.



The Hidden Connection: Childhood Trauma and Relationship Conflict


Trauma doesn’t just disappear. It hides in the crevices of your emotional landscape, waiting for a spark—a particular phrase, a certain gesture, or a tone of voice—that will trigger the storm of memories. Suddenly, the person who loves you, who is trying to have a peaceful conversation, becomes the person who makes you feel small, rejected, or unheard.

But here's the catch: your partner is not your abuser. In fact, they may be the person you’ve chosen to help heal those very wounds. However, your past trauma can distort your perception, making it hard to separate the two.


It’s like your brain is on autopilot, replaying old patterns you learned as a child. In the heat of the moment, it might feel like you’re fighting for survival, trying to protect the vulnerable child inside you from the same hurt you endured back then. The problem is, the emotional triggers you’re reacting to are often completely unrelated to the present conflict with your partner. Instead of fighting over who left the dishes out or forgot to pick up groceries, you’re really fighting against the long-held beliefs that you were unworthy of love or that conflict leads to abandonment.


What if You’re Blind to Your Trauma and Expect Too Much from Your Partner?


Here’s the real kicker: What if, in your trauma, you are so blinded by your pain that you can’t see how unfair you’re being to your partner? What if you feel that they should somehow know exactly how to heal the wounds you carry from your past, but they don’t? It’s not uncommon to feel frustrated or resentful when your partner doesn’t have the tools or emotional capacity to help you overcome deep-seated trauma. You may even feel angry that they don’t understand how to fix you or help you heal—after all, isn’t that what love is supposed to do?


The truth is, your partner can’t heal your trauma for you. They can’t undo what’s been done, nor can they erase the emotional scars left by years of hurt. While love and support are important, expecting your partner to be the sole source of your healing is both unrealistic and unfair. Healing from trauma is a deeply personal journey, and it’s one that requires self-awareness, effort, and often, professional guidance.


But here’s the tricky part: When you’re lost in your trauma, it’s easy to project your frustration onto your partner. You may blame them for not being the person who can fix everything. It’s important to recognize that, while your partner may be a source of comfort and care, they cannot carry the burden of your emotional history. If you expect them to be your therapist, your rescuer, or your savior, you risk damaging the relationship further.


Recognizing the Signs and Getting Out of the Cycle


The first step toward breaking this cycle is recognizing it. When you feel the shift, when rage bubbles up unexpectedly or tears suddenly overwhelm you, take a step back. Acknowledge that what’s happening might not be about the present at all. Remind yourself that your partner isn’t your parent—they aren’t the person who hurt you, nor are they the person who should bear the weight of your childhood.


Next, engage in grounding techniques. Grounding helps shift your focus from the emotional and mental storm to something more immediate and physical. You might place your feet flat on the floor and take several slow, deep breaths. Or try placing your hands on a solid surface, reminding yourself of the here and now. These small actions can bring your body back to the present moment, helping you separate past trauma from present reality.


Another vital tool is to communicate openly with your partner once things have calmed down. Express that what they may have said or done triggered something from your past, but it’s something you’re working on. The key here is vulnerability and honesty. Let your partner know that while their actions are a part of the conflict, your response is deeply tied to your past wounds. This openness can create a safe space for both of you to address the issue without blame or resentment.


The Road to Healing


If this is a pattern that regularly affects your relationships, it’s worth seeking professional support, like therapy, to address the trauma directly. Healing from childhood trauma doesn’t happen overnight, but understanding the roots of your emotional responses and how they manifest in your adult relationships is an essential step in breaking free. Working with a therapist who specializes in trauma can help you process these deep-seated wounds and learn to manage the emotional triggers that interfere with your connections to others.



Eye-Opening Question:


How much of your frustration with your partner is really about the unresolved pain of your past—and are you willing to separate the two to build a healthier, more understanding relationship?


 

More Related Articles:

Healing from the Inside Out: The Power of Self-Care After Trauma

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 9, 2024

Self-care after trauma is about reclaiming your peace, nurturing your mind and body, and taking small steps toward healing every day. It’s not about perfection, but about being kind to yourself and allowing the space to feel, recover, and grow at your own pace.

Healing from the Inside Out: The Power of Self-Care After Trauma

When life throws us a curveball, especially in the form of trauma, it can feel like we’ve lost control of our own existence. Trauma—whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a car accident, an abusive relationship, or even a deeply stressful life event—can leave an imprint on our mind, body, and spirit. In the aftermath, we often find ourselves searching for a path to healing. While professional therapy and support systems are essential, one of the most powerful tools we have to aid in recovery is self-care.


Self-care after trauma isn’t about simple acts of indulgence like a bubble bath or a massage (though those are lovely and important). It’s about healing from the inside out—nurturing the parts of ourselves that have been hurt, neglected, or ignored. It’s about acknowledging your pain and creating a space where you can begin to heal at your own pace.


1. The Power of Grounding: Reconnecting with the Present Moment


One of the most significant impacts of trauma is its tendency to pull us out of the present moment. Our minds may race with memories of the past, or we may feel constantly on edge, waiting for the next crisis to occur. This is where grounding techniques can be a lifeline.


Grounding exercises help us reconnect with the here and now. They can be as simple as feeling the texture of an object in your hand, noticing the colors and sounds around you, or even practicing a few minutes of deep breathing. These exercises redirect your focus from the overwhelming emotions tied to past trauma to the present moment, creating a sense of safety and calm.


2. Movement: Releasing Trauma Stored in the Body


Trauma doesn’t just live in our minds—it lives in our bodies too. After traumatic experiences, our muscles often tighten, our breath becomes shallow, and our energy feels trapped. Movement—whether through yoga, stretching, walking, or dance—can be a powerful way to release that pent-up energy and reconnect with our bodies.


Movement helps us reclaim control over our physical selves, sending signals to the brain that we are safe. It doesn't require a gym membership or intense workouts—sometimes, a slow walk or a few gentle stretches are all you need to begin the process of releasing trauma from the body.


3. Nourishing the Body with Love: Food as Medicine


It’s no secret that trauma can affect our physical health. It’s not uncommon to experience changes in appetite, digestive issues, or low energy after a traumatic event. But the connection between nutrition and mental well-being is often underestimated. Our bodies and minds are deeply interconnected, and the food we eat can either support or hinder our recovery process.


Opting for nutrient-dense, whole foods—such as fresh vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains—can help balance your mood, improve energy levels, and support cognitive function. Hydration is just as important; drinking enough water helps your body process stress more effectively. A nourishing meal can be a form of self-care, as it nurtures your body and sends a message that you are worthy of care.


4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Quieting the Mind


After trauma, our minds often feel like a battlefield—overactive, anxious, and filled with racing thoughts. Mindfulness practices like meditation can help us slow down and regain control of our minds. Meditation trains the mind to focus on the present moment, allowing us to step outside the chaos of our thoughts and observe them without judgment.


Even just five minutes of deep breathing, or listening to a guided meditation, can significantly reduce anxiety, calm intrusive thoughts, and help create a sense of emotional balance. Over time, regular meditation can help rewire the brain, making it easier to cope with stress and emotional triggers in a healthier way.


5. Building Boundaries: Protecting Your Energy


One often overlooked aspect of self-care after trauma is learning to protect your energy through boundaries. Traumatic experiences can leave us vulnerable, and it’s easy to feel like we need to say “yes” to everyone and everything in an attempt to regain control or avoid conflict. However, respecting your limits is one of the most essential forms of self-care.


Setting clear boundaries with others—whether it’s saying no to social obligations, limiting contact with toxic individuals, or taking time away from stressful environments—helps protect your emotional well-being. Boundaries are not about shutting people out but rather about creating the space to heal and prioritize your needs.


6. Therapeutic Self-Compassion: Being Gentle with Yourself


In the aftermath of trauma, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism. You may find yourself feeling “broken” or “not good enough” because of what you’ve been through. But the truth is, trauma is not your fault, and you are not defined by it. Self-compassion is one of the most transformative self-care practices you can engage in.


Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend who is suffering. Remind yourself that healing takes time, and it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Self-compassion means accepting your imperfections, honoring your feelings, and giving yourself permission to heal at your own pace. It’s about embracing your humanity and acknowledging that, despite everything, you are still worthy of love and care.


7. Creating Connection: Reaching Out for Support


Finally, one of the most powerful forms of self-care is allowing yourself to reach out for help. After trauma, we can feel disconnected from others, but isolation only deepens our suffering. Finding a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can provide a vital lifeline for healing. Support groups, where others share similar experiences, can also offer a sense of solidarity and understanding.


Healing doesn’t happen in isolation—it happens in connection. It’s okay to lean on others, whether it’s for emotional support, a listening ear, or practical help. Just as you would care for someone else, you deserve the same care and compassion from others.


Conclusion: The Journey of Healing


Self-care after trauma isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, nor is it something that can fix everything overnight. It’s a journey—a gradual, patient process of reclaiming your life and your well-being. It requires acknowledging the pain, but it also involves nourishing yourself in ways that promote healing and growth.


Remember, trauma doesn’t define you, and healing is possible. Every small step you take—whether it's breathing deeply, moving your body, or simply being gentle with yourself—matters. You are worthy of healing, connection, and peace. Take it one day at a time, and honor the progress you make, no matter how small it may seem.


 

More Related Articles:

bottom of page