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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Mar 1

Supporting foster children struggling with binge eating requires understanding the emotional trauma they’ve experienced and offering compassionate guidance. Foster parents can play a vital role by creating a safe, stable environment and helping children develop healthier coping mechanisms for emotional stress.

Navigating Gender Dysphoria: When Is Help Needed, and How Can We Support Our Teens?

Foster care children often face emotional and physical challenges that many of us can't even imagine. Among these struggles, binge eating and overeating can be a hidden yet significant issue affecting children in foster care. The trauma of abuse, neglect, and instability can manifest in complex ways, and overeating is sometimes the way these children cope with the emotional scars left by their past. As a foster parent, understanding the connection between foster care experiences and unhealthy eating habits is key to providing the right support and care.


The Impact of Foster Care on Mental Health


Children entering foster care often come from situations where they experienced neglect, instability, or abuse. These traumatic experiences can deeply affect their emotional and mental well-being. When a child has faced situations beyond their control, such as unpredictable meals, food scarcity, or emotional neglect, food can quickly become a means of finding comfort or control.


Binge eating and overeating are common coping mechanisms for many children dealing with emotional trauma. Food becomes a source of comfort in an otherwise chaotic world, but this pattern can quickly spiral into unhealthy eating habits. For some foster children, overeating becomes an escape from overwhelming emotions they don’t know how to process. It’s a way to fill the emotional void that their trauma has created, but it often leads to physical and mental health issues down the road.


Recognizing the Signs of Binge Eating and Overeating


As a foster parent, being able to recognize the signs of binge eating or overeating is critical for offering timely support. These behaviors might not be immediately obvious, especially if the child is good at hiding their actions or feelings. Here are some common signs to look out for:


  • Eating Large Quantities of Food in One Sitting: This can happen even when the child isn't physically hungry.

  • Secretive Eating: The child may eat in secret or attempt to hide food wrappers or leftovers, which can be an indication of binge eating episodes.

  • Repeated Overeating Despite Feeling Full: Your child might continue eating even after they've had enough, or may constantly talk about food.

  • Frequent Emotional Overeating: Turning to food as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or sadness is often a sign of overeating due to emotional triggers.

  • Social Withdrawal and Shame: The child may express shame or embarrassment about eating habits and could avoid social situations involving food.


These behaviors often arise as a means of self-soothing, but they can also serve as a way for children to regain a sense of control when other aspects of their life feel unpredictable or out of their hands.


How Foster Parents Can Help


Supporting a foster child with binge eating or overeating requires a delicate and compassionate approach. Here are some ways you can help:


  1. Create a Safe and Predictable Environment: Stability and routine are incredibly important for foster children who have experienced trauma. A predictable routine around mealtimes can give children a sense of security, which might reduce the need to overeat as a means of control. Keep mealtimes consistent, calm, and free of pressure.


  2. Address Emotional Needs: Often, overeating is a response to unmet emotional needs. Help your child identify their feelings by providing a safe space for them to express their emotions. Encourage open conversations about their experiences and feelings, letting them know it’s okay to talk about difficult topics.


  3. Focus on Health, Not Weight: Instead of focusing on weight or appearance, create conversations about healthy eating habits. Encourage positive conversations about nourishing the body and treating it with respect, rather than tying food to emotions like shame, guilt, or punishment.


  4. Limit Emotional Eating Triggers: Help your child find healthy outlets for stress or emotional pain, such as art, physical activity, or journaling. When they feel overwhelmed, teach them other coping mechanisms that don’t involve food, like breathing exercises, mindfulness, or talking through their feelings.


  5. Encourage Professional Support: Binge eating and overeating can be symptoms of deeper emotional trauma, and professional therapy or counseling can be incredibly helpful. A therapist specializing in trauma or eating disorders can help your child learn to identify and manage emotional triggers, as well as develop healthier coping mechanisms.


  6. Model Healthy Behavior: Children learn a lot from what they see. Model healthy eating habits, self-care routines, and healthy relationships with food. Your example can go a long way in helping your child learn to treat food as nourishment, not a way to cope with feelings.


  7. Celebrate Small Wins: Recovery from overeating or binge eating is a gradual process. Celebrate small milestones, like choosing a healthy snack or discussing emotions openly. These moments can help your child feel empowered and motivated to continue on their journey to emotional and physical healing.


A Lifeline in Times of Struggle


As a foster parent, you hold a pivotal role in supporting children with binge eating or overeating behaviors. Your compassion and commitment can help guide them toward healthier eating habits and, more importantly, emotional healing. Your home can be a place where they find security, support, and the tools to cope with their trauma in healthy ways.


Eye-Opening Question:


How can we, as a society, better equip foster parents with the tools and resources needed to help children struggling with emotional eating and binge eating disorders?


By understanding the root causes of these behaviors and providing the right support, we can create a future where every child in foster care has the opportunity to heal, grow, and develop healthy relationships with food and themselves.


 

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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 10, 2024

To help a family member with hoarding disorder, start by offering empathy and understanding, focusing on their emotional needs. Support a family member with hoarding disorder by encouraging professional help and creating a non-judgmental space for recovery.

Lending a Hand: How to Help a Family Member with Hoarding Disorder

Hoarding disorder is a serious mental health condition that affects millions of people, but it often remains hidden in plain sight. For families, the struggle of dealing with a loved one’s hoarding behaviors can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to understanding what’s happening and how best to offer support. The clutter, the tension, and the emotional turmoil can put a strain on relationships, but with the right approach, families can make a meaningful difference in helping their loved ones heal.


Understanding hoarding disorder is the first step in offering compassionate and effective support. Let’s dive into what hoarding disorder is, how it’s diagnosed, and practical steps you can take to help a family member on their journey toward recovery.


1. What is Hoarding Disorder? Understanding the DSM-5 Diagnosis


Hoarding disorder, as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), is characterized by persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value. This difficulty stems from a strong emotional attachment to items and a fear of making a mistake or losing something important.


For someone with hoarding disorder, the clutter can interfere significantly with daily life and living conditions, often leading to health and safety risks, isolation, and strained relationships. It’s important to note that hoarding disorder is not just about being disorganized or messy—it is a mental health condition that often stems from deeper psychological issues, such as anxiety, trauma, or depression.


According to the DSM-5, the diagnostic criteria for hoarding disorder include:


  • Persistent difficulty discarding possessions, regardless of their value.

  • The accumulation of items that results in clutter that impairs the living area or creates significant distress in functioning (social, occupational, or in other areas of life).

  • Functional impairment, such as unsafe living conditions, family conflict, and emotional distress.


Understanding these criteria can help family members recognize the seriousness of the disorder and move beyond seeing it as simply a “bad habit” or “laziness.”


2. Why Hoarding Happens: The Emotional and Psychological Roots


Hoarding disorder often arises from a combination of psychological and emotional factors. For many, hoarding behavior is an attempt to cope with difficult emotions like anxiety, sadness, or loneliness. Objects may serve as a source of comfort, security, or a way to avoid confronting deeper feelings of loss or trauma. Over time, these feelings can become overwhelming, and the behavior spirals into a pattern of excessive accumulation.


In some cases, genetics can play a role, as hoarding tendencies can run in families. Additionally, traumatic experiences, such as a loss of a loved one or a significant life event, can trigger hoarding behaviors as a way to hold onto memories or alleviate emotional pain.

Because of these emotional and psychological factors, it’s important to understand that hoarding is not simply about “getting rid of things.” It’s about addressing the underlying emotions and thoughts that lead to the accumulation of items in the first place.


3. How to Help a Family Member with Hoarding Disorder: A Compassionate Approach


Helping a loved one with hoarding disorder can be difficult, but it’s essential to approach the situation with patience, empathy, and understanding. Here are some practical steps you can take to support your family member:


1. Educate Yourself and Your Family


Understanding hoarding disorder is crucial for providing effective support. Read up on the condition and familiarize yourself with the DSM-5 criteria. The more you know about the psychological and emotional factors involved, the more you’ll be able to approach the situation with compassion instead of frustration.


Educating other family members is also important so that they can provide consistent and supportive help. Unified support from the family is essential for making real progress.


2. Start with Empathy, Not Judgment


It’s important to remember that hoarding disorder is not a moral failing or a sign of laziness. Approaching the situation with judgment or anger will only create resistance and defensiveness. Instead, try to have open and non-confrontational conversations, focusing on the emotional impact that the hoarding is having on your loved one’s life. Express concern without criticizing.


For example, instead of saying, “You need to get rid of all this stuff,” try saying, “I’ve noticed that the clutter is making it harder to move around, and I’m worried about your safety. Can we talk about how we can start making changes together?”


3. Offer Professional Help


Hoarding disorder is a complex condition that requires professional intervention. Therapy, specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), has been shown to be highly effective for hoarding disorder. CBT helps individuals challenge the underlying beliefs that contribute to the disorder, such as fear of making the wrong decision or the need to keep every item for sentimental reasons.


In some cases, medication may also be prescribed, especially if the hoarding is linked to other mental health conditions like anxiety or depression. Encourage your family member to seek help from a therapist who specializes in hoarding disorder, and offer to help them find resources if needed.


4. Help Them Prioritize and Set Small Goals


Decluttering an entire home can feel like an insurmountable task, and for someone with hoarding disorder, the very idea of discarding possessions can be distressing. Start small and break the process into manageable steps. It may help to focus on one room or even one area at a time, such as a closet or desk.


Work with your family member to prioritize which items are most important and which can be let go. The goal is not to force them to part with things but to help them make informed decisions that lead to more organized living spaces. Respect their emotional attachment to certain items, but encourage them to consider whether these objects are truly serving a positive purpose in their lives.


5. Avoid Forcing the Process


While it’s natural to want to help, hoarding disorder is not something that can be "fixed" quickly. Forcing a loved one to part with possessions or trying to clean up their space without their consent can lead to heightened distress and resistance. Respect their pace and understand that recovery is gradual.


Celebrate small wins and improvements, such as clearing off a countertop or organizing a drawer, and acknowledge the emotional courage it takes to make these changes. Over time, these small steps can build momentum toward larger changes.


4. Know When to Seek Outside Help


In some cases, hoarding can escalate to the point where it creates significant health and safety risks or interferes with daily functioning. If this is the case, it’s important to seek help from professionals who can intervene appropriately. This may involve calling a social worker, contacting local health authorities, or even enlisting the help of a hoarding cleanup specialist.


If your family member refuses to seek help, it may be necessary to involve professionals to ensure that they are safe and well-cared for.


5. Take Care of Yourself


Supporting a family member with hoarding disorder can be emotionally draining. It’s important that you also take care of your own mental health. Consider seeking therapy or support groups for caregivers, and set healthy boundaries so that you’re able to support your loved one without sacrificing your own well-being.


Conclusion: A Journey of Patience and Compassion


Hoarding disorder is a serious and often misunderstood condition, but with the right understanding and support, families can play a critical role in helping their loved one recover. By educating yourself, approaching the situation with empathy, and encouraging professional help, you can support your family member through the recovery process.


It’s important to remember that healing from hoarding disorder is a slow and ongoing journey, one that requires patience, understanding, and consistent encouragement. With the right help, your loved one can regain control over their living space—and their life—one step at a time.


 

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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Oct 13, 2024
Navigating the Spectrum: Understanding Gender Identity in Teens

For many teenagers, the journey toward understanding their gender identity can be a complex and emotional experience. This process is not just about choosing a label; it involves exploring who they are and how they fit into a world that often imposes rigid norms and expectations. As society becomes more aware and accepting of diverse gender identities, it's crucial to create a supportive environment for teens grappling with these questions.


What is Gender Identity?


Gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of their own gender, which may or may not align with the sex they were assigned at birth. This identity can be male, female, a blend of both, neither, or fall anywhere along the gender spectrum. It’s important to understand that gender identity is deeply personal and can evolve over time.


For example, meet Jamie, a 15-year-old who has always felt different from their peers. Assigned female at birth, Jamie has struggled with feelings of discomfort in their gender role, leading to confusion and isolation. It wasn’t until Jamie discovered the concept of gender fluidity that they began to see a path forward.


The Challenges of Exploring Gender Identity


1. Societal Expectations: Many teens face pressure to conform to traditional gender roles. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression.


2. Fear of Rejection: Coming out as transgender or non-binary can be daunting. Teens often fear rejection from family, friends, and peers, which can hinder their willingness to express their true selves.


3. Lack of Representation: In many communities, there is still a lack of visible role models or resources for LGBTQ+ youth, making it harder for teens to find support.


4. Mental Health Struggles: The stress of navigating gender identity can lead to mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.


For example, Jamie experienced a rollercoaster of emotions while trying to figure out their identity. They often felt anxious in social situations, fearing how others would react if they expressed their true self.


Creating a Supportive Environment


If you know a teenager who is exploring their gender identity, there are several ways to provide support:


1. Listen Without Judgment: Create an open dialogue where they feel safe to express their feelings and thoughts. This can help them process their emotions and feel validated.


For example, Jamie's best friend, Alex, took the time to listen and ask questions, allowing Jamie to share their feelings without fear of judgment. This support made a world of difference.


2. Educate Yourself and Others: Understanding gender identity and the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ youth can foster empathy and create a more inclusive environment.


For example, schools can organize workshops or invite speakers to educate students about gender diversity, promoting a culture of acceptance and respect.


3. Encourage Exploration: Let teens know that it's okay to explore their identity. Encourage them to experiment with names, pronouns, and clothing that resonate with their sense of self.


For example, Jamie decided to try using they/them pronouns and started dressing in a way that felt more authentic to them. This exploration was a crucial step in their journey.


4. Provide Resources: Connect them with LGBTQ+ organizations or support groups where they can meet others who share similar experiences.


For example, Jamie found a local LGBTQ+ youth group that provided a safe space to connect with others and learn from shared experiences, significantly easing their feelings of isolation.


5. Be Patient and Respectful: Recognize that self-discovery takes time. Respect their choices, including name and pronoun changes, and be patient as they navigate their journey.


For example, Jamie’s parents initially struggled with the changes but committed to learning and supporting Jamie’s identity, which strengthened their relationship.


The Importance of Representation


Visibility matters. When teens see diverse representations of gender identities in media, literature, and their communities, it can help them feel less alone and more validated. Positive representation can inspire them to embrace their identity and foster pride in who they are.


For example, Jamie began reading books and watching shows featuring non-binary characters, which helped affirm their feelings and provided role models who navigated similar challenges.


Conclusion: Embracing Authenticity


The journey of understanding and embracing gender identity is not always easy, but it is incredibly important. For teenagers like Jamie, having supportive friends, family, and communities can make all the difference. By fostering understanding, encouraging open dialogue, and providing resources, we can create an environment where every teen feels empowered to explore their identity authentically.


As a society, let’s work together to celebrate the richness of gender diversity. After all, every young person deserves the chance to express their true selves, and with love and support, they can navigate their unique journeys with confidence and pride.


 

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