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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Mar 26

Borderline Personality Disorder and stress often intertwine, creating a cycle where intense emotional reactions make everyday stressors feel overwhelming. As individuals with BPD experience heightened sensitivity, even small triggers can escalate into profound emotional turmoil, amplifying their stress levels.

How Borderline Personality Disorder and Stress Intertwine – And What You Can Do About It

Mental health is a topic that's been gaining more attention in recent years, and for good reason. Among the many conditions that affect people’s emotional well-being, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and stress often go hand-in-hand, creating a cycle of emotional turmoil that can feel impossible to break. But understanding how these two interact can be the first step toward taking control of your mental health.


For individuals with BPD, stress isn't just a passing inconvenience—it can feel like a tidal wave, pushing them toward overwhelming emotional reactions and behaviors. But here’s the good news: the daily practice of self-reminders and mindfulness can be an effective way to regain balance and manage the impact of stress.


Borderline Personality Disorder and Stress: A Tight Grip


Borderline Personality Disorder is marked by intense emotional reactions, unstable relationships, and a fear of abandonment. People with BPD often feel emotions more intensely than others, which can make dealing with everyday stress an uphill battle. The stress response in someone with BPD can escalate quickly—what seems like a small trigger can provoke an overwhelming emotional reaction, sending them into a spiral.


Add to that the natural stressors of life—work, relationships, financial pressures—and it’s easy to see how stress can compound, making it harder to manage BPD symptoms.

But, why does stress feel so much more intense for those with BPD? It’s because the emotional regulation systems in the brain can be less responsive, making it harder for individuals to return to a state of calm once triggered. This heightened emotional sensitivity is what makes stress not just uncomfortable, but often unbearable.


The Power of Self-Reminders: A Tool for Regaining Control


The good news is that while BPD and stress can feel overwhelming, there are strategies to help manage both. One of the most powerful tools in this journey is the simple practice of self-reminders. By incorporating daily affirmations and grounding techniques into your routine, you can start to reshape how you respond to stress and difficult emotions.

Here are a few self-reminder strategies that can make a difference:


  1. Start with Grounding Techniques: When stress begins to build, grounding techniques help pull you back into the present moment. A quick but effective method is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, where you identify:

    • 5 things you can see,

    • 4 things you can touch,

    • 3 things you can hear,

    • 2 things you can smell,

    • 1 thing you can taste. This exercise helps distract the mind from stressors and reconnect you with your environment.


  2. Affirmations for Emotional Stability: Remind yourself daily that your emotions do not define you. Simple affirmations like, “I am allowed to feel, but I can also choose how to respond,” can be grounding. Write these reminders on sticky notes, set them as phone notifications, or say them out loud when you feel stressed.


  3. Mindful Breathing: Stress often leads to shallow, rapid breathing, which can further fuel anxiety. Practice deep breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6) to calm your nervous system. This simple action sends a message to your brain that you are in control, even if emotions are running high.


  4. Daily Reflection and Journaling: At the end of each day, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what triggered stress. Journaling about your feelings can help you gain clarity, track patterns, and understand the sources of your stress. Writing can be a powerful tool to break down overwhelming emotions and make them more manageable.


  5. Embrace Self-Compassion: One of the toughest things for people with BPD is self-criticism. Being kind to yourself and practicing self-compassion can be a game-changer. Remind yourself that it’s okay to struggle and that recovery is a journey, not a race. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and be gentle with yourself when things feel hard.


The Key to Breaking the Cycle: Consistency


Like any new habit, the key to success with self-reminders is consistency. It’s not about waiting for the “perfect moment” or expecting immediate results; it’s about integrating these practices into your daily life so they become automatic. When self-reminders become second nature, you’ll find yourself more capable of handling stress, reducing emotional reactivity, and creating space for healing.


Conclusion:


Living with BPD and managing stress may feel like an endless battle at times, but by practicing self-reminders and taking small, intentional steps every day, you can gradually build resilience. Each reminder is a step closer to mastering your emotions and breaking the cycle of stress that often defines your experience.


Question to Ponder: What’s one self-reminder you can implement today that will help you manage your stress and BPD symptoms more effectively?


 

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The power of letting go lies in freeing ourselves from unrealistic expectations and embracing life’s natural flow. By letting go, we open up space for personal growth, peace of mind, and greater happiness.

The Hidden Power of Letting Go: How Managing Expectations Can Revolutionize Your Mental Health

In a world that constantly tells us to strive for perfection, chase our dreams, and set high standards, managing expectations can often feel like an afterthought. But what if the key to better mental health wasn’t about pushing harder or demanding more of ourselves? What if, instead, it was about learning to let go?


Expectation—the belief or hope that something will happen in a particular way—can have a significant impact on our emotional well-being. When our expectations don’t align with reality, it can trigger feelings of frustration, disappointment, or even anxiety. As we climb the career ladder, strive for personal achievements, or work to fulfill social expectations, unmet expectations can lead to a cycle of stress that affects our mental health.


So why is managing expectations so crucial, and how can we approach it in a healthy way? Let’s break it down.


The Downside of Unchecked Expectations


Expectations are often based on societal pressures, past experiences, or idealized visions of how life should be. These beliefs can leave us feeling stuck, as we push ourselves toward outcomes that may not always be realistic or aligned with our true desires.


Take, for example, the pressure to achieve constant success in the workplace. Many people tie their self-worth to their accomplishments, whether that’s landing a promotion, completing a major project, or maintaining a "perfect" work-life balance. When these high expectations inevitably fall short, individuals can experience burnout, anxiety, and a sense of inadequacy.


Similarly, in relationships, we often have preconceived notions of what a "perfect" friendship or partnership should look like. When our relationships don’t meet these expectations, disappointment can overshadow what might otherwise be a fulfilling connection.


The Importance of Realistic Expectations


While it’s natural to set goals and strive for success, there’s a huge difference between healthy aspirations and unrealistic standards. By recognizing when our expectations are out of reach, we can take the pressure off ourselves and create space for healthier, more attainable goals.


Realistic expectations allow for growth and adaptability. They acknowledge that setbacks and imperfections are part of the journey, not signs of failure. When we set expectations that align with our abilities, needs, and values, we’re able to navigate challenges with resilience instead of self-criticism.


Practical Tips for Managing Expectations:


  1. Practice Self-Compassion: Recognize that you are human. No one is perfect, and it's okay if things don't always go as planned. Be kind to yourself during moments of disappointment.


  2. Reframe Perfectionism: Instead of striving for perfection, aim for progress. Shift your mindset to appreciate small wins and the effort you put in, rather than only focusing on the end result.


  3. Set Flexible Goals: It’s important to set goals that are challenging but also adaptable. Life is unpredictable, so allow yourself to adjust your expectations along the way.


  4. Communicate Clearly with Others: In relationships, communicate openly about your needs and desires, but also recognize that everyone has their own limitations and perspectives. Being flexible in your expectations of others fosters healthier, more balanced connections.


  5. Embrace the Unexpected: Sometimes, the most rewarding moments happen when things don’t go according to plan. Embrace life’s uncertainties, and allow space for surprises and opportunities to arise naturally.


The Freedom in Letting Go


The real beauty of managing expectations is that it creates freedom—freedom from constant pressure, self-judgment, and the fear of failure. By learning to accept life’s ebb and flow, we can develop healthier habits, stronger relationships, and a deeper sense of contentment with who we are, no matter what our external circumstances might look like.

It’s not about lowering our standards—it’s about being mindful of what’s truly important and adjusting our expectations so that they reflect our well-being.


As we approach the new year, think about this: What would it look like if you let go of one unrealistic expectation in your life? How would it feel to embrace yourself and your journey, without the constant need for perfection?


So, what’s one expectation you’re ready to release today, and how do you think it might transform your mental health moving forward?


 

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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Jan 14

Workplace burnout is no longer just a buzzword, but a serious mental health issue affecting employees across industries, leading to decreased productivity and emotional exhaustion. If left unaddressed, workplace burnout can spiral into long-term physical and psychological health problems, costing both individuals and organizations dearly.

The Silent Epidemic: Are You Ignoring the Signs of Workplace Burnout?

In the hustle and bustle of today’s fast-paced work environment, it’s easy to overlook one of the most prevalent—and destructive—issues facing employees across the globe: workplace burnout. For years, it was seen as just part of the job. Long hours, constant emails, and stress-filled meetings became the accepted norm. But in reality, burnout is not a badge of honor—it’s a serious mental health issue that can have far-reaching effects on both your career and personal life.


What Exactly Is Burnout?


Workplace burnout isn’t just feeling tired after a long week. It’s a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that occurs when you feel overwhelmed and unable to meet the constant demands placed upon you. Unlike regular stress, burnout doesn’t simply disappear after a weekend or a vacation. It lingers and grows, affecting everything from your productivity to your mental well-being.


Some common signs of burnout include:


  • Chronic fatigue – A constant feeling of being drained, even after a full night’s sleep.

  • Reduced performance – A noticeable decline in work quality, focus, and overall productivity.

  • Emotional exhaustion – Feeling emotionally depleted, disconnected, or overwhelmed by work-related tasks.

  • Cynicism or detachment – Developing negative attitudes toward your job, colleagues, or the organization you work for.

  • Physical symptoms – Increased headaches, muscle tension, and other stress-related ailments.


While these signs may seem like a normal part of a busy career, when left unchecked, burnout can have serious consequences. In fact, burnout has been linked to an increased risk of anxiety, depression, cardiovascular issues, and even substance abuse.


Why Is Burnout So Widespread?


The rise of the “always-on” culture is one of the main drivers of burnout in the modern workplace. With the advent of smartphones, email, and instant messaging, employees are constantly plugged in—often beyond traditional working hours. While technology can certainly boost productivity, it also blurs the lines between work and personal life, making it difficult for employees to truly disconnect.


Additionally, the pressure to “do it all” has never been greater. In many industries, there is an increasing demand for workers to perform multiple roles, take on more responsibilities, and deliver results at an accelerated pace. Unfortunately, many companies still reward long hours over results, leading employees to push themselves to the brink of exhaustion to meet unrealistic expectations.


And let’s not forget the impact of the pandemic. The shift to remote work, while offering flexibility for many, also created new challenges. Work-life balance became even harder to maintain as the physical boundaries between “work” and “home” disappeared. For some, the sense of isolation and lack of social connection only compounded the feelings of burnout.


How Burnout Impacts More Than Just the Employee


Burnout doesn’t just affect the individual; it has a ripple effect on the entire organization. Employees who are burned out tend to be less engaged, more prone to absenteeism, and ultimately more likely to leave their jobs. This turnover can result in decreased productivity, strained relationships among coworkers, and even higher healthcare costs.


Furthermore, when burnout becomes normalized within a workplace, it can create a toxic culture. Employees may feel pressure to overwork in order to keep up, which only perpetuates the cycle of burnout. This is why it’s crucial for organizations to not only acknowledge burnout but take steps to prevent it.


How Can You Combat Burnout?


Fortunately, burnout is not an inevitable fate. With some intentional changes and mindful strategies, you can recover and even prevent burnout before it takes root. Here are a few tips to get you started:


  1. Set Boundaries – Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. This could mean setting a strict cutoff time for checking emails or ensuring that you don’t work past a certain hour.

  2. Prioritize Self-Care – Make time for activities that recharge you, whether it’s exercising, reading, meditating, or spending quality time with loved ones. A well-rested mind and body are more resilient to stress.

  3. Delegate and Seek Support – Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Delegating tasks can ease the burden, and leaning on your colleagues or manager for support can help you feel less isolated.

  4. Communicate Your Needs – Have open conversations with your employer about workload expectations, the impact of overtime, and mental health resources. Sometimes, all it takes is a candid conversation to make significant changes.

  5. Take Regular Breaks – It may seem counterproductive, but taking short breaks throughout the day can significantly improve focus and energy levels. A quick walk outside or a few minutes of deep breathing can work wonders.

  6. Reevaluate Your Priorities – If you constantly feel overwhelmed, it might be time to take a step back and reassess your career goals and personal values. Sometimes, the pressure to perform is a result of misalignment between your work and what truly matters to you.


The Role of Employers in Addressing Burnout


Employers also have a critical role to play in combating burnout. It’s essential for companies to create an environment that fosters well-being, encourages work-life balance, and supports employees’ mental health. Here are a few steps organizations can take:


  • Encourage Regular Time Off – Ensure that employees are taking adequate vacation time and mental health days.

  • Foster a Culture of Support – Create a work environment where employees feel comfortable discussing their challenges and seeking help without fear of judgment.

  • Offer Flexible Work Options – Providing flexibility in work hours or the option for remote work can help employees better manage their time and responsibilities.

  • Invest in Employee Well-being Programs – Offer resources such as counseling, stress management workshops, or fitness programs to help employees manage stress.


Conclusion: A Wake-Up Call for Both Employees and Employers


Burnout is a growing issue that’s often brushed aside or minimized in the workplace. However, it’s not something that should be ignored. It affects not only the individual but also the culture and productivity of the organization as a whole.


So, let’s ask ourselves: Are we truly prioritizing our mental health in the workplace, or are we continuing to push ourselves—and our employees—to the brink?


Perhaps it's time we all asked ourselves: What price are we willing to pay for success?


 

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