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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 1, 2024

Helping a loved one overcome addiction requires patience, empathy, and unwavering support as they navigate the challenges of recovery. It's important to remember that helping a loved one overcome addiction is not just about breaking free from substance use—it's about rebuilding self-love, confidence, and emotional well-being.

Rebuilding from Within: Helping a Loved One Overcome Addiction and Rediscover Self-Love

Addiction is a silent thief that robs individuals of their confidence, self-worth, and dignity. Whether it's drugs, alcohol, or any form of dependency, the emotional toll it takes is often invisible but deeply felt. But even in the darkest moments, healing is possible—especially when someone who cares is there to help. If you're supporting a loved one struggling with addiction, one of the most powerful things you can offer them is the chance to rediscover self-love. Here's how you can help them on that difficult but transformative journey.


1. Meet Them Where They Are


It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what’s best for someone, especially when you see them in pain. However, to help someone battling addiction, you need to meet them where they are emotionally and mentally. Instead of offering unsolicited advice or demands, listen to them with empathy. Validate their feelings—whether they’re ashamed, angry, or hopeless—and resist the urge to “fix” them. Sometimes, the best way to show love is simply by being present without judgment.


2. Encourage Small Wins


Addiction recovery is not a linear process. There will be good days, bad days, and everything in between. Rather than focusing on the end goal of sobriety, celebrate small victories. Did they go a day without using? Did they open up about their struggles? These moments of courage, no matter how small, are essential in rebuilding self-love and confidence. Recognize and acknowledge these achievements to help them see progress, even when it feels slow.


3. Teach Compassionate Self-Talk


Addicts often develop negative self-beliefs through years of self-destructive behavior. Shame becomes their inner monologue. Rebuilding self-love requires teaching them how to be kinder to themselves. Help them practice positive affirmations and self-compassion. Encourage them to speak to themselves the way they would speak to a friend—without criticism, shame, or judgment. “You are worthy of love and healing,” can be a powerful mantra to start shifting the narrative from self-loathing to self-love.



4. Model Healthy Boundaries and Self-Care


In your efforts to help, it’s crucial to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. As someone trying to help a loved one rediscover self-love, it’s essential that you also model healthy boundaries, self-respect, and self-care. By demonstrating that you take care of yourself, you’re showing them that self-love isn’t just about avoiding addiction—it’s about treating yourself with dignity and care every day.


5. Foster a Sense of Belonging


People who struggle with addiction often feel isolated, as though they don’t fit in or are undeserving of connection. One of the most healing things you can do is help them feel a sense of belonging. Whether through support groups, family activities, or even just regular check-ins, create opportunities for them to feel seen and valued. When a person feels like they belong, they are more likely to value themselves and work toward their own well-being.


6. Support Therapy and Treatment Options


Addiction doesn’t just affect the body—it erodes the mind and soul, too. Therapy and professional support are essential for healing. Encourage your loved one to seek professional help, whether through counseling, rehab, or outpatient services. Recovery isn’t just about quitting a substance—it’s about rebuilding emotional health and discovering self-worth. Be there for them through the process, whether it’s accompanying them to appointments or just being a source of encouragement.


7. Help Them Rediscover Purpose


A person battling addiction often feels disconnected from a sense of purpose, which can make recovery seem pointless. Helping them rediscover their passions, talents, and dreams can reignite the spark of self-love. Volunteer opportunities, creative projects, or simply engaging in hobbies they once enjoyed can give them a reason to invest in themselves again. A person with a purpose is more likely to believe in their worth and continue fighting for their recovery.


8. Patience and Understanding Are Key


Rebuilding self-love is not a quick process. Recovery from addiction is complex, and the road can be long. Patience is one of the greatest gifts you can offer. Understand that setbacks are part of the process, and each day is an opportunity to try again. Love and support don’t have an expiration date, and you can continue to show them that you are there for them through every step of their healing journey.


Conclusion: A Journey to Rediscovery


Helping a loved one rediscover self-love after addiction is not a one-time event—it’s a continual, patient process. By offering your support, understanding, and belief in their worth, you provide a lifeline to someone who may feel lost in their struggle. Remember, recovery is as much about healing the soul as it is about breaking free from substance abuse. You are not just helping them overcome addiction—you are helping them believe, once again, that they are deserving of love, happiness, and peace.


In the end, self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about accepting oneself with all the flaws and victories, and choosing every day to heal.


 

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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Nov 22, 2024

Existential therapy helps heal childhood trauma by empowering individuals to confront the pain of their past and reframe their experiences through a lens of meaning and personal responsibility. By exploring themes of authenticity, freedom, and purpose, it enables clients to break free from the limitations of trauma and live more fully in the present.

Healing the Past: How Existential Therapy Can Help Heal Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma can cast long shadows on our lives, often shaping how we view the world and ourselves. For many, the pain of unresolved trauma shows up in ways that affect relationships, self-worth, and even day-to-day functioning. While traditional therapies focus on processing memories and behaviors, existential therapy offers a profound approach that helps individuals heal by exploring deeper questions of meaning, purpose, and personal responsibility.


In this article, we’ll dive into how existential therapy, with its emphasis on living authentically and finding personal meaning, can be a powerful tool for healing childhood trauma and fostering resilience.


What Is Existential Therapy?


At its core, existential therapy is rooted in philosophy and focuses on the fundamental aspects of the human experience, such as:


  • Freedom and Responsibility: Recognizing that we have the power to shape our lives and make choices, even in the face of hardship.

  • Meaning and Purpose: Helping individuals explore what gives their life significance, even in the midst of suffering.

  • Isolation and Connection: Acknowledging the human experience of loneliness and the need for authentic relationships.

  • Authenticity: Encouraging individuals to confront their true selves and live in a way that aligns with their values, rather than adhering to societal expectations.


This therapeutic approach helps people confront their deepest fears and existential concerns—like the fear of death, meaninglessness, and isolation—by creating space for individuals to take responsibility for their own healing.


How Existential Therapy Helps Heal Childhood Trauma


  1. Confronting the Pain Without Being Defined by It


    Childhood trauma often leaves a person feeling trapped by their past. In traditional therapy, much focus is placed on processing and reframing traumatic memories. While this is valuable, existential therapy goes a step further by encouraging clients to not define themselves solely by their trauma. Rather than allowing the trauma to shape their entire identity, individuals are encouraged to explore how they can take ownership of their future—how they can move beyond their history to live more freely and meaningfully.


Existential therapy encourages clients to reframe their trauma as a part of their personal narrative, but not the entire story. It challenges them to ask, "What do I choose to do with the pain I've experienced?" By confronting existential themes of suffering and meaning, people can begin to see their trauma not as an insurmountable burden but as a part of their journey toward self-discovery and healing.


  1. Exploring the Search for Meaning


    One of the key tenets of existential therapy is the idea that humans have an innate desire to seek meaning in life, especially in the face of suffering. For individuals who experienced childhood trauma, their early experiences may have created a void of meaning, leaving them feeling lost, disconnected, or hopeless.


Existential therapy helps individuals uncover a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives, even in the wake of profound pain. By engaging in deep reflection, clients can identify values, passions, and strengths that are uniquely their own. This helps to shift the focus away from the pain of the past and towards what is possible for the future—reconnecting them to a sense of agency and empowerment that trauma may have stripped away.


  1. Fostering Authenticity and Self-Acceptance


    Children who experience trauma often grow up feeling that they are "broken" or not good enough. These feelings can linger into adulthood, shaping how they interact with others and view themselves. Existential therapy places great emphasis on authenticity—the process of living in alignment with one's true self, rather than adopting roles or personas that feel disconnected from one's inner truth.


Through existential therapy, individuals with childhood trauma can begin to unravel the layers of defensiveness, shame, and self-doubt they may have built up over the years. The therapist encourages clients to confront the existential truth that they are capable of being whole and worthy of love, regardless of their past experiences. By practicing self-acceptance and authenticity, individuals are empowered to create a future that is grounded in their true values, rather than the trauma that once defined them.


  1. Embracing Freedom and Responsibility


    One of the most profound aspects of existential therapy is the concept of freedom—the idea that we have the power to choose how we respond to life's challenges. For individuals who have experienced childhood trauma, much of their suffering may come from feeling powerless or trapped by their circumstances. They may carry the belief that their past dictates their future, or that their trauma is an insurmountable obstacle.


Existential therapy encourages clients to reclaim their freedom by recognizing their ability to choose how they respond to their experiences. Yes, trauma may have happened, but individuals still have the agency to shape how they move forward. This is particularly empowering for those who feel they’ve been trapped in their pain, offering them a new sense of control over their healing and future choices.


  1. Building Meaningful Relationships


    Many individuals who experience childhood trauma develop a deep sense of isolation—feeling disconnected from others or that they are fundamentally different from those around them. Existential therapy emphasizes the importance of connection and the human need for authentic relationships.


Through the therapeutic relationship itself, clients begin to experience a space where they can be seen and heard, free from judgment. This experience of connection is a powerful antidote to the isolation often felt by those with childhood trauma. By learning to trust again and build meaningful relationships, individuals can begin to experience a sense of belonging and community that was missing during their formative years.


The Power of Healing Through Existential Therapy


Existential therapy is not a quick fix—it’s a deep and transformative process that helps individuals move beyond the impact of their trauma to find greater meaning, purpose, and freedom. For those who have experienced childhood trauma, this approach offers a way to reclaim ownership of their lives, not by erasing the past, but by integrating it into a larger, more empowering narrative.


By confronting existential concerns head-on and embracing the possibility of growth, individuals can learn to navigate their trauma with greater resilience, authenticity, and a renewed sense of agency. In doing so, they can begin the journey of healing—one that allows them to live more fully, honestly, and with a deeper connection to their true selves.


Conclusion


Existential therapy offers a powerful and unique approach to healing childhood trauma. By helping individuals confront the pain of the past while embracing their capacity for freedom, choice, and meaning, it empowers them to create a more authentic and fulfilling future. If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of childhood trauma, existential therapy may offer a path toward healing and transformation.

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Oct 31, 2024
Bullying and the Teen Struggle: Navigating the Invisible Battle

In today’s world, bullying is not just about the playground scuffle or the lunchroom drama. It’s evolved into something more insidious, reaching teens through social media, gossip, and subtle, psychological tactics. The scars it leaves aren’t always visible, but they are deep—affecting a teen's sense of self-worth, mental health, and even their future. But the question remains: How do teens struggling with bullies navigate this challenging journey? Let’s explore how bullying impacts teens mentally and emotionally, and most importantly, how they can regain control and find their strength again.


The Silent Weight of Bullying


Teens today are living in a digital age where bullying can happen anytime, anywhere. Whether it’s cruel comments on social media, nasty rumors circulating at school, or exclusion from friend groups, the effects of bullying can be devastating. And unlike adults who may have more coping skills, teens often feel isolated or unsure of how to manage the emotional weight they’re carrying. This constant stress can lead to significant mental health struggles such as:


- Anxiety: Teens might feel on edge, fearing they’ll be ridiculed at school or online. Their anxiety may turn into avoidance, like skipping school or avoiding social events, which only increases their isolation.

- Depression: The emotional toll of bullying can spiral into depression. With feelings of helplessness and a diminished sense of self-worth, some teens may feel that no one understands or that things will never get better.

- Low Self-Esteem: Continuous bullying chips away at a teen's self-confidence. They may start to believe the hurtful things said about them, causing self-doubt and poor body image.


- Suicidal Thoughts: In extreme cases, ongoing bullying can lead to thoughts of suicide. The feeling of being trapped in a cycle of cruelty with no way out is a devastating reality for many teens.


The Mental Health Impact: How Bullying Affects Their Future


The effects of bullying extend far beyond high school years. Teens who are bullied are at an increased risk for long-term mental health issues such as:


- Chronic Anxiety and Depression: Without intervention, the emotional damage from bullying can evolve into lifelong mental health challenges. Teens who struggle with these conditions may carry them into adulthood, affecting relationships, career paths, and overall quality of life.

- Difficulty in Trusting Others: Teens who are bullied often experience broken trust in peers, leading them to isolate themselves or struggle to form healthy relationships in the future.


- Substance Abuse: Research shows that teens who are victims of bullying are at a higher risk of turning to alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism. This becomes a dangerous cycle, as substances may offer temporary relief but worsen the overall mental health landscape.


How Teens Can Cope: Strategies for Regaining Control


Despite the heavy weight of bullying, there is hope. Teens can take steps toward healing and regain their confidence, though the journey isn’t always easy. Here are some practical strategies for managing the emotional impact of bullying:


1. Speak Up: Open Up About the Pain


It’s important for teens to talk to someone they trust about their experiences. This could be a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend. Holding onto the pain only reinforces feelings of isolation. Speaking out may not only help process emotions but also make it clear to the bullies that their actions are being noticed and taken seriously.


2. Seek Professional Support: Therapy Can Help


Bullying affects more than just the moment—it lingers long after the event. For teens, therapy (especially cognitive-behavioral therapy) can be a powerful tool to rebuild self-esteem, process emotions, and develop healthy coping skills. Talking to a therapist about bullying can provide the space to express what they’re going through and start to heal.


3. Stand Up for Yourself: Empowerment Through Boundaries


Encourage teens to assertively set boundaries with those who bully them. This can involve standing up to bullies with words or seeking help from authority figures, such as teachers or school counselors. Self-defense classes or assertiveness training can also help boost their confidence and sense of control over their environment.


4. Create a Supportive Network: You Don’t Have to Go Through It Alone


Encouraging teens to surround themselves with friends who uplift them can help counteract the negativity from bullying. Healthy relationships, whether with family or friends, provide a protective buffer against the effects of bullying. Teens need to know that they are valued and worthy of love and respect.


5. Limit Exposure: Take a Break from Social Media


While technology can be wonderful, it can also be a playground for bullies. If social media is a source of harassment, teens should feel empowered to take a break or limit exposure to harmful interactions. A break from constant online negativity can help them reconnect with their sense of self and start to heal from the emotional pain of bullying.



Empowering Teens to Break the Cycle


The reality is that bullying affects nearly every teen at some point. But what’s important to remember is that no one deserves to be treated this way, and there are always ways to get support and work through the pain. By helping teens understand that they are not defined by the actions of others and that they are worthy of respect, we can empower them to take back control of their story.


If you or someone you know is struggling with the impact of bullying, please know that you don’t have to suffer in silence. Reach out for help, because there is support and hope for healing. Together, we can work toward a future where every teen feels safe, respected, and valued.


Conclusion:


Bullying is one of the most challenging experiences a teen can face, leaving deep emotional scars that often go unnoticed. However, by speaking out, seeking support, and setting boundaries, teens can regain their confidence and learn to thrive despite the pain. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, but there is always hope and help available for those who struggle with bullying’s devastating impact. It’s time to stand together and say, “No more.”


 

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