The Gift of Presence: How a Non-Materialistic Christmas Can Nurture Gratitude in Kids

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Dec 21, 2024

A non-materialistic Christmas can nurture gratitude in kids by shifting their focus from receiving gifts to appreciating the love and experiences shared with family. By prioritizing presence over presents, children learn that the true joy of the season lies in connection, not in material possessions.

The Gift of Presence: How a Non-Materialistic Christmas Can Nurture Gratitude in Kids

The holiday season is often synonymous with excess—excessive shopping, excessive decorating, and, let’s face it, excessive spending. But what if this Christmas, we chose to step away from the piles of presents and embraced something different? What if we focused on presence, connection, and the gift of gratitude instead? By embracing a non-materialistic Christmas, we not only ease the pressure of holiday consumerism but also instill important values in our children that will last a lifetime.

Why a Non-Materialistic Christmas?

In today’s fast-paced world, where our children are constantly bombarded with advertisements, toy commercials, and "must-have" lists, it’s easy for the true meaning of the season to get lost. Christmas has evolved into a commercial spectacle, with parents spending large sums of money in an attempt to make their children’s holiday dreams come true. While giving gifts is a beautiful way to express love, the pursuit of material goods can leave both adults and kids feeling more stressed and disconnected from the true joy of the season.

By simplifying our approach to the holidays, we create an environment where emotional well-being takes precedence over material possessions. It’s about teaching children that the most precious gifts are not those that come wrapped in shiny paper, but those that are experienced through time spent together, shared memories, and the joy of giving.

The Importance of Gratitude

Gratitude is a foundational skill for emotional health, but it’s often overlooked, especially in children. Studies have shown that children who practice gratitude tend to have higher levels of happiness, better relationships, and greater resilience. So, how do we foster this important quality, particularly during the holiday season?

One of the most powerful ways to teach gratitude is by modeling it ourselves. Children are keen observers—they learn not only from what we say, but from what we do. When we focus on non-material gifts during the holiday season, we create a space for our kids to appreciate what truly matters: love, connection, and the joy of giving.

Ways to Foster Gratitude in Children this Christmas

Gift Experiences, Not Things
Rather than inundating your children with material items, consider giving experiences that create lasting memories. A trip to the ice skating rink, baking cookies together, or a simple nature walk can be just as magical—if not more so—than the latest gadget or toy. These shared experiences also help children develop a deeper sense of connection to their family and the world around them.
Involve Them in Giving Back
Teach your children that the holiday season is not just about receiving, but also about giving. Get them involved in a charity project, like donating toys to less fortunate children, volunteering at a local food bank, or making homemade cards for elderly neighbors. When kids see the impact of their generosity, they gain a sense of fulfillment that material gifts simply cannot provide.
Encourage Thank You Notes
After receiving a gift, encourage your children to write thank-you notes or draw pictures for those who gave them presents. This small, yet meaningful practice helps them reflect on the gift, appreciate the giver, and understand the importance of showing gratitude.
Practice Mindfulness Together
Take a moment to slow down and practice mindfulness as a family. Set aside a few minutes each day to sit quietly and focus on what you’re grateful for. Share your thoughts with each other, and let your children voice what they’re thankful for—whether it’s family, friends, or the simple joy of a cozy home. When children regularly practice gratitude, they learn to focus on the positive aspects of their lives.
Create a Gratitude Jar
Start a new tradition this year by creating a gratitude jar. Each day, write down something you’re grateful for on a slip of paper and add it to the jar. On Christmas Day, read through the notes together as a family. This activity not only encourages reflection but also helps children notice the little things they might otherwise take for granted.

Handling Peer Pressure: Navigating the Gift Gap

While the focus on gratitude and non-material gifts can create a meaningful Christmas experience, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges that children might face—especially when it comes to peer pressure. At a time when friends are showing off their shiny new toys or high-tech gadgets, it’s easy for kids to feel left out, or even embarrassed about not receiving material gifts. The desire to fit in can be overwhelming, and some children may feel inadequate if they don’t have the latest item on the wish list.

So how can we help our children handle this peer pressure?

Normalize Different Traditions
One of the best ways to build resilience against peer pressure is by normalizing your family’s non-materialistic traditions. Talk openly about how different families celebrate and how some people prioritize experiences or spending time together over giving material gifts. Help your child feel proud of your unique family holiday customs, and remind them that not everyone’s Christmas looks the same.
Reinforce the Value of Gratitude
As your child navigates social circles where gift-giving is a central part of the celebration, continually reinforce the value of gratitude. Teach them that Christmas is about more than just the gifts—it's about the thought behind them and the love shared. Encourage your child to focus on the time spent with friends and family, the laughter, and the experiences, rather than comparing what they did or didn’t get.
Role-Playing Scenarios
If your child is feeling self-conscious about not having material gifts to show off, consider role-playing different scenarios. Practice how to graciously receive a gift and how to handle questions from friends about their own gifts. This boosts their confidence and equips them with language to navigate uncomfortable situations. Encourage them to politely express gratitude for the gift they receive, regardless of its size or value.
Focus on the Spirit of Giving
Teach your child that true happiness comes not from receiving but from giving. Help them make handmade gifts, cards, or treats for their friends. When children focus on what they can give to others, rather than what they are receiving, they cultivate a deep sense of self-worth and satisfaction.

The Gift of Presence

Ultimately, a non-materialistic Christmas emphasizes the importance of presence—not just physically being in the same room, but truly being present with each other. In a world that often prioritizes “stuff,” this shift in focus can be life-changing. We all want our children to grow up with strong emotional health, to appreciate the small moments, and to value relationships over possessions. By nurturing a culture of gratitude and mindfulness this holiday season, we help children develop a deeper understanding of what truly matters.

This Christmas, let’s give the gift of presence, not presents. Let’s teach our kids that the most meaningful moments are those that can’t be bought. When we shift our focus from the material to the emotional, we create a holiday season that’s not only good for our mental health but for our hearts as well.

Eye-Opening Question:

If the true meaning of Christmas isn’t about what’s under the tree, then what is the most valuable gift we can give our children this holiday season, and how can we help them feel confident in it—even if their friends have something different?

Thanksgiving Anxiety: Creative Ways to Find Peace Amid the Feast

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Nov 23, 2024

Thanksgiving anxiety can arise from the pressure to meet family expectations, create the perfect meal, or navigate tricky social dynamics. But with some creative coping strategies and a mindset shift, it’s possible to enjoy the holiday without the stress.

Thanksgiving Anxiety: Creative Ways to Find Peace Amid the Feast

For many, Thanksgiving is a time of gratitude, togetherness, and indulgence—a much-anticipated holiday spent with family, friends, and loved ones. But for some, it can also be a source of anxiety. Whether it’s the pressure to create the perfect meal, the expectations around family dynamics, or the emotional weight of the season, Thanksgiving can bring out stress and worries that feel just as heavy as the turkey.

If you’re someone who feels a twinge of anxiety at the thought of Thanksgiving—whether it’s about navigating social situations, managing expectations, or simply handling the sheer volume of tasks—know you’re not alone. But the good news is that there are creative and effective ways to cope with Thanksgiving anxiety and still enjoy the holiday.

1. Set Realistic Expectations—And Communicate Them!

One of the biggest sources of Thanksgiving anxiety is the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations. Whether it’s preparing a flawless meal, hosting a perfect gathering, or living up to your family’s traditions, the weight of expectations can feel overwhelming. This year, take a step back and evaluate what you can realistically handle. It’s okay to scale down the guest list, opt for a potluck-style meal, or simplify your usual routines.

If you’re feeling stressed about family dynamics or uncertain expectations, it’s okay to communicate openly. Be transparent with your loved ones about what you can manage, and ask for help where needed. A little honesty can go a long way in relieving unnecessary stress.

2. Practice Mindful Gratitude—Even When It Feels Hard

The very concept of Thanksgiving is built around gratitude. But for some, focusing on gratitude can feel like another chore—especially when anxiety is already clouding your mind. If you find yourself struggling to tap into that thankful mindset, try a more mindful approach. Instead of forcing yourself to feel grateful for everything, focus on one small thing at a time.

You can do this by starting a gratitude jar. Each time something good happens, no matter how small, write it down on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. On Thanksgiving day, take a moment to read them aloud. This simple act of reflection can remind you that even in moments of anxiety, there are still things worth appreciating.

3. Incorporate a "Pre-Thanksgiving Chill Out" Routine

One of the best ways to prepare for the holiday and alleviate stress is to carve out some “you” time before the big day. A few hours of solitude can do wonders for your mental well-being. Whether it’s a quiet morning walk, a session of yoga, or just curling up with a good book or podcast, create a calming pre-Thanksgiving ritual to center yourself.

If you're already feeling anxiety creeping in as the holiday approaches, try building a daily routine that helps you decompress. A few minutes of deep breathing exercises, meditation, or journaling can ground you in the present and calm your mind.

4. Get Creative with Your Holiday Plans

The idea of Thanksgiving may come with the expectation of a large, traditional gathering, but what if you flipped the script and made it your own? You don’t have to host a lavish dinner with a dozen people to make the day special. In fact, a change in routine might be just what you need to reduce anxiety and create a new, more enjoyable tradition.

Consider alternatives like a “Friendsgiving,” a low-key virtual dinner with distant family members, or even a solo Thanksgiving retreat. If you enjoy creative outlets, why not use the holiday to bake something new, write a personal thank-you letter to yourself, or make a gratitude art project? By adding your unique touch to the day, you can reduce the pressure and find joy in a less conventional celebration.

5. Lean Into the Power of Laughter and Humor

Laughter can be a great antidote to anxiety. It helps reduce stress hormones, boosts endorphins, and creates a sense of connection. If your anxiety is coming from worries about family dynamics or the potential for awkward moments, consider embracing the humor in the situation. After all, Thanksgiving is full of potential for quirky conversations and funny moments, whether it’s the family member who always burns the pie or the holiday mishaps that everyone secretly looks forward to.

If you’re feeling nervous, try to set the tone with lightheartedness. Watch a funny movie the night before, share some silly jokes, or even print out a Thanksgiving-themed trivia game. When you add humor into the mix, it helps shift the focus from tension to connection.

6. Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

If your anxiety spikes during Thanksgiving, try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique to bring your mind back to the present moment. It’s a simple and effective way to manage anxious feelings, especially if you start to feel overwhelmed during family gatherings or when managing holiday tasks.

Here’s how it works:

5: Acknowledge 5 things you can see around you.
4: Notice 4 things you can touch.
3: Listen for 3 things you can hear.
2: Identify 2 things you can smell.
1: Recognize 1 thing you can taste or imagine tasting.

This technique helps anchor you in the present moment, which can quiet anxiety and reframe your thoughts away from worry.

7. Give Yourself Permission to Say "No"

Many people with Thanksgiving anxiety feel the pressure to be everything to everyone. Whether it's attending multiple events, hosting extra guests, or volunteering for extra tasks, the idea of saying “no” can feel impossible. But you are allowed to protect your time and energy.

If your plate is full (literally and figuratively), it’s okay to say no to invitations or to opt out of activities that will add unnecessary stress. Set boundaries that prioritize your mental health, and don’t feel guilty about putting yourself first. Taking care of yourself will make it possible to show up more fully for the people you love.

8. Create a "Stress-Free Zone"

If family dynamics or holiday chaos tend to make you anxious, designate a “stress-free zone” where you can retreat when things feel overwhelming. It could be a cozy corner of the house, a nearby park, or even a quiet room with calming music or a favorite book. Giving yourself permission to step away and recharge can help you manage stress and reset when needed.

Having a space to retreat to will remind you that you have control over your experience, and that it’s okay to take breaks throughout the day.

Final Thoughts

Thanksgiving may never be completely stress-free, but with the right mindset and a few creative coping strategies, it’s possible to make it a more peaceful, enjoyable experience. Remember, Thanksgiving isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. By embracing flexibility, setting realistic expectations, and finding moments of peace, you can create a holiday that feels manageable, meaningful, and even fun.

After all, the greatest gift you can give yourself this Thanksgiving is the freedom to relax and enjoy the season, anxiety-free. 🍁✨

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