Ditch FOMO and Embrace JOMO: A Mental Health Perspective on Finding Peace and Connection

In our go-go lifestyle, always-on world we’ve created, we’re constantly juggling the demands of a “real” job that pays the bills, squeezing in time for passion projects or side hustles, making it to that 5 AM Pilates class, showing up for weekend brunch with the girls, keeping up with nail and hair appointments, and, of course, fitting in those obligatory family visits, birthday dinners, bachelorette trips, and whatever else pops up on our never-ending social calendars. And let’s be real, if it didn’t make it to socials, did it even happen?

Somehow, we’ve equated a “full” life with a packed schedule, but the reality is, that version of “full” isn’t necessarily what truly fulfills us. So much of what we strive for, how we spend our time, what we chase, what we think we “should be” doing, is influenced by social media, our mentors, our peers, our parents, and the fickle definition of whatever is currently trending. Rarely do we pause to ask ourselves: What actually makes me feel full?

We stretch ourselves so thin in the pursuit of this curated version of “living” that we leave nothing for just us. A quiet night on the couch with ice cream doesn’t seem as exciting to post, but getting dressed up for a dinner party full of strangers? Now that’s something worth sharing—never mind if it completely drains your battery. Because what if you don’t go and later see your friends' stories filled with big smiles and selfies you weren’t a part of? What if you miss out on some juicy tea that was spilled in your absence? And worst of all—what if you weren’t even invited?

And that’s when you’re hit by FOMO!

What is FOMO and When Does it Come Up?

FOMO—aka “the fear of missing out”, has become a cultural phenomenon over the last decade. It’s that nagging feeling of being left out, the anxiety of missing an epic moment, and, at its core, the deeper fear of being forgotten, unwanted, or unneeded. But more than anything, it’s the fear of not being important. Of our social currency slowly losing value.

So much of how we move through life is dictated by this fear, pushing us to say yes to plans we have zero interest in, even when it comes at the expense of our minds, bodies, and souls. We overextend, overcommit, and overstimulate ourselves, not because we want to, but because the other feels even worse.

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Why is FOMO bad?

The Cleveland Clinic published an article diving into the psychological effects of FOMO, linking it directly to heightened anxiety and depression. And it makes sense. Depression often shows up as a constant cycle of comparison, chipping away at self-worth, damaging self-esteem, and negative self-talk. Anxiety, on the other hand manifests as headaches, muscle tension, and that all-too-familiar tightness in the chest. Because let’s be real, the pressure to keep up? It’s exhausting in every possible way.

When we’re constantly chasing external validation, social approval and the need to “fit in”, we place an unbearable strain on us mentally, pushing ourselves to burnout. The toll isn’t just emotional; it’s also very much physical. Running on survival mode for too long can lead to rising cortisol levels, hair fall and breakouts just to name a few. We often forget how closely the mind and body are connected. What happens within us eventually reflects outwardly.

How to battle FOMO? – By Embracing JOMO

We may never fully free ourselves from FOMO. But we can train ourselves to recognize how it triggers us. Anytime we tie our sense of worth to something external, we’re setting ourselves up for failure, maybe not immediately, but eventually. You might think you’ve cracked the code by saying yes to everything, making yourself available everywhere, and keeping up with every social commitment. But to be honest, that pace? It’s an uphill battle that only gets steeper.

So how do we counteract this? We embrace JOMO—the joy of missing out. With this mindset, we put our own needs first. We ask ourselves: What do I actually want in this moment? Do I really want to go to that birthday dinner and be social after a nine-hour work shift? Do I really want to spend money I don’t have on that bachelorette trip? And honestly… so what if I skip brunch? Maybe I just want to sleep in, put a face mask on, and clean my house in peace.

At its core, JOMO is about choosing your joy over external pressure. It’s about leaning into what feels right for you in the moment, and saying NO! unapologetically. Some fun and practical ways to embrace JOMO include:

• Explore activities you've always wanted to try but never had the time for due to a packed schedule.

• Enjoy a relaxing night in with candles, journaling, or reading a good book.

• Start your day with a calming meditation before heading to work.

• Treat yourself to a solo date by cooking a nice meal, enjoying wine, and embracing the

• moment.

The possibilities for enjoying your own company are endless.

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Conclusion

The more “me-time” you spend, the more self-compassion you cultivate, until your sense of validation naturally begins to come from within. In a world full of noise, tuning into your own voice can work wonders in preserving your mental well-being in the long run. And if you ever find yourself in that inner tug-of-war, just remember, Instagram stories always make it look way more fun than it actually was anyway.

So tell us—how might your energy shift if you took a step back and embraced the joy of missing out?

Reference:

Cleveland Clinic. (2023, August). FOMO is real: How the fear of missing out affects your health. Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-fomo

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Niki Kay

Host of the Mindset Mentress Podcast | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I'm a writer, podcast host, and entrepreneur focused on self-discovery and personal transformation. After my own healing journey, I share insights on self-accountability and living authentically through my podcast, Mindset Mentress, helping others reach their highest potential.

linkedin | instagram

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New Year, New Mindset: How to Make Mental Health Resolutions That Actually Stick

This year, make mental health resolutions that go beyond just coping with stress and focus on building lasting emotional resilience. Setting intentional mental health resolutions, like practicing self-compassion and prioritizing rest, can transform not only your year but your entire outlook on life.

The arrival of a new year often feels like a blank slate—a fresh start, a new chapter. For many, it’s an opportunity to set resolutions, make changes, and aim for personal growth. But as we dive into the whirlwind of self-improvement goals, there’s one resolution that too often gets pushed to the backburner: our mental health.

While promises to hit the gym or eat healthier are common staples of New Year’s resolutions, the importance of mental well-being tends to take a backseat. However, after a year of collective challenges, uncertainties, and emotional exhaustion, prioritizing your mental health in 2025 could be the best goal you set for yourself.

But here’s the tricky part: How can we create meaningful mental health resolutions that don't just get tossed aside by February? How can we move beyond the usual "be more positive" or "stop stressing" and make tangible, lasting changes to improve our mental health?

The Year of Intentional Change

When it comes to mental health, intention is everything. It's easy to set vague resolutions like “I’ll be happier” or “I’ll be less anxious,” but how do you measure something so subjective? Instead of aiming for a perfect state of mind (which doesn’t exist), focus on intentional, sustainable changes that make an impact.

Click to Learn About The Power of Intentional Self-Care

1. Start with Self-Compassion, Not Perfection

One of the most powerful resolutions you can make is to treat yourself with more kindness. We often judge ourselves harshly, especially when we fall short of our goals. But self-compassion isn’t just a fluffy buzzword; it’s a scientifically proven way to reduce stress and improve mental health. Instead of berating yourself for not being "perfect," practice understanding, patience, and care.

Small acts of self-compassion can look like speaking kindly to yourself in moments of failure, setting boundaries without guilt, and forgiving yourself when you make mistakes. This shift can create a mental environment of growth and healing rather than one of shame and frustration.

2. Prioritize Restful Sleep, Not Just More Hours

We live in a culture that often celebrates productivity over rest. The "rise and grind" mentality is toxic to our mental health, and studies show that poor sleep is directly linked to increased anxiety, depression, and cognitive impairment. This year, instead of resolving to "work harder," resolve to prioritize quality sleep.

Sleep is a vital part of emotional regulation. Good rest helps with memory consolidation, mood stabilization, and stress management. So, consider making small changes that could improve your sleep hygiene: limit screen time before bed, create a relaxing pre-sleep routine, and aim for consistency in your sleep schedule. Think of sleep as an investment in your mental health, not a luxury.

3. Practice Mindfulness Over Multitasking

In our fast-paced world, multitasking is often glorified. Yet research has shown that switching between tasks can actually decrease productivity and contribute to feelings of anxiety. This year, instead of spreading yourself thin, try focusing on mindfulness.

Mindfulness isn’t just about meditation—it’s about staying present in the moment. Whether you’re eating lunch, walking, or having a conversation, make a conscious effort to stay engaged and focused. This practice can help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed, increase your emotional awareness, and create space for you to process your thoughts and feelings more effectively.

4. Build a Strong Support System, Not Just a Social Media Following

In the age of social media, it’s easy to feel connected online but isolated in real life. Building a support system based on real, face-to-face connections can significantly improve your mental well-being. A strong support system doesn't just consist of people who listen to you—it includes those who challenge you, make you laugh, and remind you of your worth.

This year, commit to nurturing relationships that matter. Whether it's spending more time with family, catching up with an old friend, or seeking professional support through therapy or a support group, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being.

5. Set Boundaries with Your Time and Energy

As much as we might want to please others, constantly overextending ourselves takes a toll on our mental health. A powerful resolution for 2025 is learning to set healthy boundaries. It might mean saying "no" to extra work commitments, limiting time spent on draining activities, or not responding to messages after a certain hour.

Boundaries aren’t about being selfish—they’re about protecting your energy and maintaining your peace of mind. When you establish boundaries, you’re telling yourself that your mental and emotional well-being matters.

Making Mental Health Resolutions Stick

The key to sticking with mental health resolutions is not about setting perfectionist goals but about building habits that align with self-care and long-term well-being. Rather than focusing on the big, unattainable outcomes, look for small, actionable steps you can take every day to nurture your mind.

So, how do you start?

Begin by breaking down your mental health goals into tiny, manageable steps. Instead of committing to "be happier," aim for something concrete like “take five minutes each morning to focus on my breathing" or “call a friend once a week." Progress doesn’t have to be drastic to be impactful.

Lastly, be gentle with yourself. It's okay if you slip up or don't meet every goal perfectly. Mental health isn’t a destination—it’s a journey, and it’s important to celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.

The Eye-Opening Question:

As you plan your New Year’s resolutions, consider this: What if the best resolution you could make this year isn’t about achieving more, but about embracing who you truly are—imperfections, struggles, and all?

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Brewing Balance: How Coffee Can Boost Your Mental Health and Your Self-Care Routine

Coffee can boost your mental health by increasing dopamine levels, which helps improve mood and focus. When consumed mindfully and in moderation, it can provide a much-needed mental recharge and serve as a valuable part of your self-care routine.

Coffee. It’s more than just a morning ritual — it’s a warm hug in a cup, a burst of energy, and a potential ally in your mental health journey. While we’ve all heard the age-old adage, “Too much coffee is bad for you,” it turns out that when consumed mindfully, coffee can actually support your mental well-being. From boosting your mood to offering a moment of quiet reflection, coffee has some surprising mental health benefits — and when incorporated into a balanced self-care routine, it can be a true game changer.

The Caffeine Effect: Mood Booster and Focus Friend

For many of us, coffee is the lifeblood of productivity, but did you know that caffeine also plays a role in boosting mental health? When consumed in moderation, caffeine can stimulate the central nervous system, which can lead to a temporary improvement in mood and alertness. This is because caffeine triggers the release of dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, which can give us a temporary lift in energy and outlook.

However, it’s important to remember that, like all things in life, moderation is key. Too much caffeine can lead to jitteriness, anxiety, and a crash later on, which is why it’s crucial to incorporate coffee thoughtfully into your self-care routine rather than relying on it as a quick fix for exhaustion or stress.

The Coffee Ritual: Mindful Moments in Your Day

Self-care is about more than just drinking coffee — it’s about creating intentional moments for yourself throughout the day. Turning your coffee breaks into mindful rituals can be a simple yet powerful way to center yourself and check in with your mental health.

Instead of simply gulping down your coffee while multitasking, try taking a few minutes to fully enjoy the experience. Step away from your screen, breathe deeply, and savor the aroma and warmth of your cup. It might sound simple, but creating this small space of mindfulness can help you decompress and reset, even on the busiest days.

Coffee as a Social Connector: Bonding Over Brew

Another underrated aspect of coffee is its ability to foster connection. Whether it’s meeting a friend for a coffee date or chatting with a coworker during a mid-morning break, sharing coffee can enhance social bonds and provide a much-needed boost to your mental well-being. Social connection is a key factor in maintaining good mental health, and a cup of coffee can be the perfect icebreaker to initiate meaningful conversations, reduce loneliness, and strengthen relationships.

Coffee and the Brain: Cognitive Function and Focus

Aside from its mood-boosting benefits, coffee is also known to enhance cognitive function. It helps to increase alertness and concentration, making it easier to tackle tasks, stay productive, and combat mental fatigue. But as with anything, be mindful of how your body responds to caffeine. If you’re sensitive to it, or if coffee disrupts your sleep patterns, you might want to explore other ways to incorporate it into your routine — like a morning coffee ritual or limiting caffeine to the first few hours of your day.

Incorporating Coffee Into Your Self-Care Routine

Now that we’ve established how coffee can play a role in your mental health, here are a few ways to incorporate it mindfully into your self-care routine:

1. Morning Mindfulness: Start your day with a quiet coffee moment. Instead of rushing to start your tasks, sit down and enjoy your coffee without distractions. Use this time to reflect on your goals for the day and set a positive intention.

   
   

2. Social Coffee Breaks: Schedule regular coffee dates with friends, family, or colleagues to nurture your relationships. Connection is key to mental well-being, and sharing a cup of coffee makes it all the more enjoyable.

   
   

3. Coffee and Creativity: If you find that coffee helps spark creativity, take a break during the day to enjoy a cup while working on a personal project or hobby. Sometimes, a little caffeine is all it takes to get the creative juices flowing!

   
   

4. Afternoon Reset: Rather than pushing through the afternoon slump with more work, take a brief coffee break to reset. A short walk, a cup of coffee, and a few minutes of deep breathing can recharge your energy levels and improve focus.

   
   

Final Thoughts: A Cup of Coffee for Balance, Not Stress

Incorporating coffee into your self-care routine can be more than just a caffeine fix. It can serve as a tool for relaxation, mindfulness, and mental clarity when used thoughtfully. By practicing moderation, creating mindful rituals, and connecting with others over a cup, coffee can become a delightful part of your mental health toolkit. So, the next time you brew your favorite cup, remember: it’s not just the caffeine working wonders, it’s the little moments of joy and reflection that truly make the difference in your well-being.

Remember: It’s not just about drinking coffee — it’s about drinking it with purpose! ☕

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