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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Mar 11

Somatic therapy can heal the mind by addressing the physical manifestations of emotional trauma, creating a deeper sense of well-being. By reconnecting with the body, somatic therapy can heal the mind, helping individuals release trapped emotions and find lasting relief from stress and anxiety.

Unlocking the Body's Wisdom: How Somatic Therapy Can Heal the Mind

When we experience emotional pain or trauma, it's easy to think of it solely as something that affects our thoughts and feelings. But what if the body also holds the key to healing? Somatic therapy, an emerging therapeutic approach, challenges the conventional idea that the mind and body are separate entities. Instead, it acknowledges that emotional and psychological experiences are not only processed in the brain but also stored within our physical bodies.


What Is Somatic Therapy?


Somatic therapy, also known as somatic experiencing, is a form of body-centered psychotherapy that focuses on the connection between the mind and body. It is based on the understanding that trauma, stress, and emotional experiences can become trapped in the body and affect both physical and mental health.


This approach draws from both traditional talk therapy and techniques that encourage mindfulness, breathing, movement, and other body-based practices. By tuning into physical sensations, clients are guided to release held tension, process emotional responses, and move toward healing in a holistic way.


The Mind-Body Connection


We’ve all heard the saying, "Trust your gut" or "Listen to your body." These phrases are more than just metaphors; they’re an invitation to recognize how deeply our emotions are intertwined with our physical state. When we experience stress, for example, our bodies often react with tension, shallow breathing, or even pain. Likewise, when we’re anxious, it’s common to feel a tightness in the chest or an upset stomach. These physical manifestations are the body’s way of signaling that something needs attention.


Somatic therapy takes this concept a step further by helping individuals identify and release the physical manifestations of their emotional experiences. Through techniques like breathwork, body scanning, and gentle movement, clients are encouraged to become more aware of how their body reacts to stress or trauma. This awareness can create space for healing, as the body’s energy can begin to flow freely once blocked emotions are released.


The Role of Trauma in the Body


Trauma, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, doesn’t just reside in our memories; it can become stored in our muscles, organs, and tissues. These “somatic memories” can lead to chronic pain, illness, or even mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. The physical body, over time, may carry the imprint of past experiences that are never fully processed or expressed.


Somatic therapy helps people reconnect with their bodies, which can be crucial for releasing long-held trauma. By safely revisiting these past experiences and releasing trapped energy, individuals can achieve lasting emotional and physical relief.


Benefits of Somatic Therapy


  1. Trauma Healing: Somatic therapy offers a gentle way to process trauma by reconnecting the body with the mind. It allows individuals to release stored trauma safely, without the need to relive or retell every detail of their painful memories.


  2. Stress Reduction: Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, and movement can help reduce the effects of stress by encouraging relaxation and helping individuals cope with daily stressors in a healthier way.


  3. Chronic Pain Relief: Somatic therapy can also benefit those with chronic pain. Many people suffering from unexplained pain find that somatic therapy helps release tension and emotional blockages, leading to relief.


  4. Improved Emotional Regulation: This form of therapy helps individuals develop greater awareness of their emotional triggers and responses, enabling them to regulate their emotions more effectively.


  5. Enhanced Body Awareness: Through somatic therapy, individuals develop a greater awareness of how their bodies react to emotional stimuli. This can lead to healthier coping mechanisms and better overall well-being.


How Somatic Therapy Works


In a typical session, a somatic therapist guides the client through mindfulness exercises that focus on noticing physical sensations. Clients might be asked to identify areas of tension, discomfort, or pain in their bodies and then gently explore those sensations through breathing exercises or movement.


The therapist may use techniques such as:


  • Breathing exercises: To help the body relax and release stress.

  • Body scanning: To bring awareness to different parts of the body and identify areas of tension.

  • Movement: Encouraging clients to move in a way that feels natural to release blocked energy.

  • Touch: In some cases, touch can be used (with consent) to help ground the individual and facilitate emotional release.


Sessions are typically slow-paced and focused on creating a safe and supportive environment, where clients can explore and process their emotions in a non-verbal way.


Is Somatic Therapy Right for You?


Somatic therapy is especially effective for those who feel disconnected from their bodies or have trouble expressing their emotions verbally. It's also a powerful tool for individuals who have experienced trauma or have chronic stress-related conditions.


If you find that traditional talk therapy isn’t fully addressing your emotional or physical concerns, somatic therapy may provide the deeper healing that you're looking for. It complements other therapeutic approaches by addressing the mind-body connection in a holistic way.


Final Thoughts


Somatic therapy reminds us that the body holds wisdom beyond what we can often express through words. By reconnecting with our physical selves, we open the door to healing not just our minds, but our entire being. If we begin to listen to the messages our bodies are sending, we may unlock the potential for profound growth, release, and transformation.

So, what if the answer to healing is already within you, waiting to be felt?


 

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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Jan 20

Building resilience allows us to navigate life's challenges with strength and adaptability, transforming setbacks into opportunities for growth. By developing resilience, we equip ourselves with the emotional tools needed to face adversity with confidence and perseverance.

Building Resilience: Why Distress Tolerance is Your Secret Superpower

In today’s fast-paced, high-stress world, the ability to handle emotional discomfort is more crucial than ever. Yet, distress tolerance—the ability to endure painful emotions without resorting to impulsive or harmful behaviors—often gets overlooked in the conversation about mental health. While many focus on techniques to avoid distress, it turns out that the most powerful tool we have is learning to sit with it.


But what exactly does distress tolerance mean, and why is it so vital for our well-being?


What Is Distress Tolerance?


Simply put, distress tolerance refers to the skills and strategies that help us cope with unpleasant emotions, stressful situations, and challenges without falling apart or resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance use, binge eating, or self-harm. It’s not about eliminating the distressing emotions; it’s about changing our relationship with them so they no longer control us.


Psychologist Marsha Linehan, the founder of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), introduced the concept of distress tolerance to help people with intense emotional reactions learn how to navigate difficult moments without overwhelming themselves. While it’s natural to want to escape discomfort, research shows that our ability to tolerate and manage distress is a significant factor in building emotional resilience.


The Importance of Distress Tolerance in Mental Health


  1. Reduces Impulsive BehaviorWhen we’re in the grip of distress, it’s easy to act impulsively—whether that’s lashing out at a loved one, engaging in risky behaviors, or using substances to numb the pain. Distress tolerance helps us pause, breathe, and respond thoughtfully rather than reacting on impulse.


  2. Improves Emotional RegulationBy practicing distress tolerance, we become more skilled at regulating our emotions, allowing us to manage stress without being completely overtaken by it. This means we can face life’s inevitable ups and downs with greater composure and clarity, reducing the chances of emotional overload.


  3. Strengthens Coping StrategiesThe more we tolerate distress, the more we reinforce healthier coping strategies. Whether it’s through mindfulness, deep breathing, journaling, or calling a friend for support, distress tolerance opens the door to healthier responses, fostering emotional growth over time.


  4. Builds ResilienceMuch like physical muscles grow stronger with exercise, emotional resilience builds with practice. The more we face distress head-on, the more we learn to navigate it effectively. This doesn’t mean we never feel overwhelmed; rather, we develop the strength to persevere and bounce back from adversity more effectively.


  5. Improves RelationshipsWhen we’re able to stay grounded in moments of emotional intensity, we’re better equipped to engage in more empathetic and supportive relationships. Instead of letting our emotions dictate our actions, distress tolerance enables us to communicate calmly and rationally, even during tough conversations.


Practical Strategies for Enhancing Distress Tolerance


  1. Mindfulness and Grounding Exercises: Mindfulness helps us become aware of our thoughts and emotions without being consumed by them. Grounding exercises, such as focusing on your breath or using your five senses to connect with the present moment, can help you stay centered when you feel overwhelmed.


  2. Self-Soothing Techniques: Find ways to comfort yourself that don’t involve escaping from your emotions. Listening to calming music, taking a warm bath, or engaging in a favorite hobby can provide temporary relief while still honoring the feelings you’re experiencing.


  3. Radical Acceptance: One of the most powerful tools in distress tolerance is radical acceptance—acknowledging reality as it is, without judgment. This doesn’t mean you have to like or agree with what’s happening, but accepting the situation can reduce the inner resistance that amplifies distress.


  4. Distraction (in moderation): When the intensity of a feeling feels unbearable, distraction can be a healthy way to create distance from it. Engage in activities that require focus or that bring you joy—such as exercising, reading, or creative pursuits—to temporarily shift your attention.


  5. Use of Self-Talk: Challenge negative or catastrophic thoughts with more rational, compassionate alternatives. Remind yourself that distressing feelings are temporary and that you’ve coped with hard things before.


The Power of Tolerating Discomfort


Learning to tolerate distress isn’t easy. It requires patience, practice, and self-compassion. However, the benefits far outweigh the temporary discomfort. When we stop avoiding distress and instead embrace it with the right tools, we unlock our true resilience. Distress tolerance isn’t about suppressing our emotions or pretending that everything is okay—it’s about giving ourselves the permission to experience our feelings fully, without letting them take control of our actions.


As we become more comfortable with discomfort, we find that our lives become less governed by fear of emotional pain and more about the freedom to engage with life, as it is, in all its complexity.


So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of an uncomfortable situation or emotion, instead of running from it, ask yourself:


What would happen if I stopped trying to escape this feeling and simply allowed myself to experience it?


It might just be the key to unlocking a deeper sense of peace, resilience, and personal growth.


 

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  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Dec 31, 2024

By using DBT to strengthen your relationship, you can improve communication, manage intense emotions, and create a deeper, more compassionate connection with your partner.

Building Bridges, Not Walls: How to Use DBT to Strengthen Your Relationship

In any relationship, emotions run deep, and when conflict arises, they can either bring you closer or drive you further apart. If one partner struggles with emotional regulation, such as someone dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), these emotions can feel overwhelming and hard to manage. But what if there were tools that could help you navigate these turbulent waters together, building understanding and resilience along the way?


Enter Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—a therapeutic approach originally developed to help people with BPD manage intense emotions, improve interpersonal skills, and enhance emotional regulation. While DBT is often used individually in therapy, its principles can also be incredibly beneficial for couples who are looking to improve their communication and connection.


What is DBT?


DBT was developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan in the 1980s to help people with BPD regulate their emotions and improve their relationships. At its core, DBT combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with mindfulness and acceptance practices. It focuses on balancing acceptance and change, teaching individuals how to manage overwhelming emotions without resorting to destructive behaviors like self-harm, substance abuse, or angry outbursts.


For couples, DBT offers practical strategies to navigate emotional intensity, reduce conflict, and increase empathy and understanding. While originally designed for individuals, many of DBT’s core concepts can be applied directly to relational dynamics.


Key DBT Skills for Couples:


  1. Mindfulness: Staying Present During Conflict Mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment—without judgment. In a relationship, when emotions run high, it’s easy to get lost in old patterns of thinking, reacting, and defending. However, by practicing mindfulness, both partners can create space between the feeling and the reaction.


    How to Use It: During a disagreement, take a moment to pause and check in with yourself. Focus on your breath, notice what you’re feeling, and try to observe the situation without immediately jumping into defense mode. This can help both of you slow down the conversation and create space for more thoughtful responses.


    Why it Helps: Mindfulness helps break reactive patterns. By taking a step back before responding, both partners are more likely to respond in ways that are less defensive and more constructive.


  2. Distress Tolerance: Navigating High-Emotion Moments Distress tolerance skills teach you how to tolerate emotional pain without making the situation worse. In a relationship, especially when one partner struggles with intense emotions, distress tolerance can be crucial in managing situations before they escalate.


    How to Use It: When you feel overwhelmed or your partner’s emotions become intense, try to stay grounded in the present moment. Use self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing, counting to 10, or grounding exercises (e.g., focusing on the sensations of your feet on the floor or the feeling of your hands in your lap).


    Why it Helps: Distress tolerance enables you to avoid reactive behavior like yelling, shutting down, or withdrawing. It creates a healthier way of managing emotional discomfort, keeping the dialogue open instead of shutting it down.


  3. Emotional Regulation: Navigating Your Emotional Responses DBT teaches emotional regulation, which involves recognizing your emotions, understanding their triggers, and learning how to express them in healthy ways. This is particularly helpful when one partner experiences emotional extremes and the other partner feels unsure of how to respond.


    How to Use It: Instead of reacting impulsively, take a moment to understand what you’re feeling and why. You might say, “I’m feeling really frustrated right now because I don’t feel heard. Let’s take a break and come back to this later.” The key is to express your emotions constructively without blaming or attacking your partner.


    Why it Helps: Emotional regulation encourages both partners to take responsibility for their emotions rather than blaming each other. It creates space for both partners to express themselves without the risk of emotional overload or miscommunication.


  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Communicating Needs and Boundaries One of DBT’s most valuable tools for couples is interpersonal effectiveness—the ability to assertively express needs, set healthy boundaries, and maintain self-respect without harming the relationship.


    How to Use It: When you need something from your partner, use the DEAR MAN technique (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Stay Mindful, Appear Confident, Negotiate). For example, “I need you to listen to me without interrupting when I’m upset (Describe). I feel ignored and frustrated when you don’t listen to me (Express). I’m asking you to listen for just five minutes before responding (Assert). It would help me feel understood (Reinforce).”


    Why it Helps: Interpersonal effectiveness skills allow both partners to communicate clearly and respectfully, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. It also strengthens the relationship by ensuring that each person feels seen and valued.


  5. Validation: Acknowledging and Accepting Emotions Validation is a cornerstone of DBT. It’s the practice of acknowledging and accepting your partner’s feelings—whether or not you agree with them. For couples dealing with emotional dysregulation, validation can help soothe feelings of hurt or frustration.


    How to Use It: When your partner expresses their emotions, try to say things like, “I can see that this situation is really upsetting for you” or “I understand that you’re feeling hurt right now.” This simple act of validation can prevent escalation and help your partner feel seen and supported.


    Why it Helps: Validation fosters emotional safety, making it easier for both partners to share their feelings without fear of judgment. When each person feels validated, it becomes easier to navigate conflict and strengthen emotional intimacy.


How DBT Transforms Your Relationship:


When you introduce DBT skills into your relationship, you’re not just learning tools to fight less—you’re learning how to love more. DBT emphasizes creating a balance between acceptance and change, both of which are essential for a healthy relationship. The acceptance aspect helps both partners feel understood and respected for who they are, while the change aspect empowers both individuals to grow and adapt together.


By practicing DBT, you’ll learn how to communicate more effectively, manage emotions better, and foster a deeper emotional connection. These skills help you become more resilient as a couple, even during difficult times, allowing you to face challenges without resorting to destructive patterns.


Final Thoughts: A Journey Toward Healing


Using DBT in your relationship is not a quick fix—it’s a journey. But with commitment, patience, and practice, both you and your partner can create a stronger, more empathetic connection. The tools of DBT don’t just help manage conflict—they nurture trust, foster understanding, and deepen emotional intimacy.


Eye-Opening Question: How might your relationship change if both you and your partner were able to communicate your feelings with greater understanding and compassion? And what small step can you take today to start that journey?


 

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