Emotional Intelligence | Moody Melon Magazine

Celebrating Strength: Why Women Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Be Powerful

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Mar 8

Women don’t need to be perfect to be powerful; their strength lies in embracing their imperfections and showing up authentically every day. The pressure for women to conform to unrealistic standards fades when we realize that women don’t need to be perfect to deserve respect, success, or love.

Celebrating Strength: Why Women Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Be Powerful

International Women's Day is a time for us to celebrate and reflect on the incredible achievements of women throughout history, as well as the challenges still faced by women all over the world. It’s not just a day of recognition; it’s an invitation to reimagine what the future could look like. This year, let’s not only honor the strength and resilience of women but also ask ourselves: what kind of world could we build if we allowed women to lead in ways that truly reflect their strength, uniqueness, and humanity?

The Strength of Imperfection

For many women, the pressure to “have it all” — the perfect career, the perfect family life, the perfect health — is overwhelming. Society tends to place unrealistic standards on women, pushing them to juggle everything perfectly and without flaw. But here’s an important truth: We don’t have to be perfect to be powerful.

In fact, it’s our imperfections that make us who we are. Each struggle, setback, and moment of vulnerability contributes to the resilience and wisdom that women embody. Strength is not about never failing; it’s about how we rise after a fall, how we learn, grow, and continue moving forward. We’re often told that in order to succeed, we need to meet certain standards or achieve certain milestones, but these expectations ignore the beauty of individuality. Women don’t need to fit into a perfect mold. Our true strength lies in embracing who we are, imperfections and all, and boldly walking in our unique power.

Click to Learn About How ACT Can Help You Embrace Imperfection

We Don’t Have to Be Men to Be Worthy

For generations, women have been encouraged to adopt masculine traits in order to succeed in the workplace, in leadership positions, or in any role where power and authority are traditionally associated with male traits: strength, logic, and stoicism. We've been told that to lead, we must be less emotional, less compassionate, less nurturing — that we need to behave more like men in order to be taken seriously. This narrative is not only limiting, but it also reinforces a harmful idea that being a woman means we are somehow lesser or less capable.

But what if we turned this idea upside down? What if we stopped trying to mimic men’s traits to fit into predefined boxes of power and success? We don’t have to be men to be powerful.

Women’s leadership is rooted in empathy, emotional intelligence, and collaboration — traits that are just as valuable, if not more so, than the stereotypically masculine traits of control, decisiveness, and competition. As we’ve seen in various studies, workplaces that value empathy, communication, and support are often more productive and harmonious. When women are empowered to lead from a place of empathy and inclusivity, they bring a holistic, human-centered approach to decision-making.

Imagine a world where more women occupied positions of power, where leadership wasn’t just about being tough or unemotional, but also about being compassionate, connected, and supportive. If more women were in charge, the power structures would be built on values that promote the collective good, where collaboration and emotional awareness were not seen as weaknesses but as tools for creating change and driving progress.

A World Where Sensitivity Is Strength

One of the most harmful myths in society is that showing emotion or vulnerability makes someone weak. Women, in particular, are often made to feel that they should suppress their emotions, whether it’s sadness, joy, frustration, or even excitement, because those emotions are perceived as "unprofessional" or "unworthy." This, of course, is rooted in deeply entrenched gender norms. But the reality is, emotional intelligence is one of the greatest strengths a person can possess.

The emotional sensitivity that women possess is not something to be ashamed of. It’s a gift that allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, to understand and respond to the needs of those around us. Women’s emotional awareness often leads to greater compassion, more collaborative solutions, and a more humane approach to leadership. Imagine how different the world could be if sensitivity were celebrated as a strength. If we stopped making women feel bad for being emotionally aware and, instead, recognized it as an essential part of good decision-making and leadership.

If women were able to express their emotions freely without judgment, we would likely see a shift in how we relate to each other — a shift toward understanding, empathy, and connection. We could live in a world where emotional expression was seen as a bridge to greater communication rather than a barrier. Instead of making fun of women for being "too emotional," we could applaud them for their courage to be open and vulnerable in ways that encourage deeper human connections.

Rewriting the Narrative of Womanhood

This International Women's Day, let's recognize that being a woman doesn’t mean being confined to any one mold or expectation. We can be strong without having to prove it by fitting into the rigid structures that have traditionally been reserved for men. Women have been showing strength, resilience, and power in every corner of the world for centuries — often in ways that defy societal expectations. From leading revolutions to raising families, from running businesses to creating movements for social change, women are powerful in ways that are uniquely their own.

However, to truly harness this collective power, we need to rewrite the narrative around what it means to be a woman. We need to recognize that strength doesn’t require perfection, that sensitivity is a superpower, and that women don’t have to adopt traditionally masculine traits to be worthy of success or recognition. The more women are allowed to show up as their authentic selves, the more they will change the world — not just in the workplace, but in every aspect of life.

A Thought to Reflect On

As we celebrate the amazing accomplishments of women everywhere, let’s think about this: What if the world were led by more women? Would it be a place where empathy, emotional intelligence, and sensitivity are seen as strengths rather than weaknesses? Would the world be more compassionate, connected, and inclusive? Could we, together, create a future where women are empowered to lead and express themselves fully, without fear of judgment or ridicule?

The answer lies in the choices we make today — to honor our strengths, embrace our imperfections, and challenge the outdated standards that limit us. On International Women's Day, let’s commit to lifting each other up and celebrating the unique, powerful force that each woman is.

Parenting with Purpose: How Parental Modeling Shapes Emotion Regulation in Children

Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
Dec 19, 2024

Parental modeling plays a crucial role in shaping how children develop emotion regulation skills, as they learn to manage their feelings by observing their parents' reactions. When parents demonstrate healthy emotional responses, such as calmly handling stress or expressing empathy, they provide children with the tools to regulate their own emotions effectively.

Parenting with Purpose: How Parental Modeling Shapes Emotion Regulation in Children

As parents, we often find ourselves in a balancing act between being caregivers, role models, and disciplinarians. But here's something that may be more important than any advice we could give or rules we impose: how we model emotions. It's a truth that often gets overlooked in the hustle and bustle of parenting, but the emotional environment we create has a far-reaching impact on our children's mental health and their ability to manage their emotions.

When it comes to emotional regulation—our ability to manage, express, and control emotions effectively—the most powerful lesson children learn isn't from what we say, but from what they see us do. From the way we react to frustration, deal with stress, or express joy, our kids are constantly observing, absorbing, and internalizing these behaviors. As it turns out, how we model emotional regulation shapes their emotional intelligence, resilience, and overall mental health for years to come.

Why Parental Modeling Matters

Emotions are complex. As adults, we know how difficult it can be to manage strong feelings like anger, anxiety, and sadness. We also know how tempting it is to suppress or avoid them entirely. However, children, especially younger ones, don’t have the cognitive skills to understand or regulate their emotions in the same way adults do. They look to us as their primary sources of emotional guidance.

Emotional regulation, simply put, is the ability to experience and express emotions in a healthy way. Children who learn strong emotional regulation skills from their parents grow up better equipped to handle life’s challenges, make thoughtful decisions, and maintain healthier relationships.

Studies show that children of parents who model positive emotion regulation are more likely to develop:

Higher Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Children who see their parents express emotions appropriately learn to do the same. Emotional intelligence—being aware of, understanding, and managing one’s own emotions—has been linked to success in school, work, and relationships.
Reduced Anxiety & Stress: When children see their parents handle stress in healthy ways, they’re more likely to adopt similar coping strategies. Conversely, when parents struggle with emotional outbursts or avoidant behaviors, children may internalize that fear or anxiety and struggle with their own emotional regulation.
Better Social Skills: Emotional regulation is crucial in social interactions. Children who see their parents manage frustration, resolve conflicts, and express empathy are better able to interact with their peers and form strong social bonds.

The Science of Parental Influence

According to developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, the type of parenting style we adopt can have a significant influence on a child’s ability to regulate their emotions. For example:

Authoritative Parenting (High warmth, high control): This parenting style, characterized by warmth, consistency, and reasonable expectations, fosters secure attachment and strong emotional regulation skills in children.
Authoritarian Parenting (Low warmth, high control): This style tends to focus on obedience and discipline over emotional connection, often stifling emotional expression and teaching children to suppress their emotions.
Permissive Parenting (High warmth, low control): While this style promotes emotional connection, the lack of boundaries can lead to emotional dysregulation, as children are not taught how to manage their emotions in the face of challenges.

In all cases, what truly matters is how parents respond to their own emotions and how they teach their children to respond to emotional challenges.

Practical Ways to Model Emotion Regulation

We don’t have to be perfect. In fact, showing vulnerability and acknowledging our own struggles with emotional regulation can teach our children that it’s okay to have feelings—what matters is how we manage them. Here are some practical tips for modeling emotional regulation in everyday life:

1. Acknowledge and Name Your Emotions

It’s not enough to just “stay calm” in difficult moments. Kids need to see why we stay calm and how we identify and express our feelings. For instance, if you’re frustrated, say, “I’m feeling really frustrated right now because I can’t find my keys, but I’m going to take a deep breath and keep looking calmly.” By naming your feelings, you’re teaching your child that emotions are normal and manageable.

2. Use “Pause and Breathe” Techniques

When you feel overwhelmed, show your children that taking a moment to pause, breathe deeply, and reset is a healthy way to manage stress. Children absorb these techniques better when they see them in action. You might say, “I’m going to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down,” or “Let’s both take a moment to breathe before we continue talking.”

3. Apologize When Necessary

We all make mistakes. The way we model owning up to them can teach kids accountability and self-awareness. If you lose your temper or react in a way you later regret, apologize sincerely and explain how you’re going to handle things differently next time. This demonstrates to your child that emotions don’t need to control us and that we can make amends and move forward.

4. Show Empathy

When your child is upset, show empathy and model how to respond with kindness. Instead of rushing to fix the problem, say, “I can see you’re really upset. It’s okay to feel sad or angry sometimes. Let’s talk about it.” This teaches your child that it’s okay to have difficult emotions and that there’s a way to manage them without being overwhelmed by them.

5. Use Positive Self-Talk

Your internal dialogue speaks volumes. If you’re frustrated or anxious, use positive self-talk aloud to demonstrate how you calm yourself down. “This is frustrating, but I know I can handle this” or “I’m feeling nervous, but I’ve done hard things before, and I’ll be okay.” Children who hear this will learn to model these helpful thoughts for themselves.

6. Create Emotional Routines

Building in regular moments for emotional connection can make a big difference. This can include family check-ins at the dinner table where everyone talks about their day and how they’re feeling. By modeling emotional openness and encouraging it in a structured way, children will develop emotional awareness.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, the most powerful tool we have as parents is our own behavior. It’s less about giving perfect advice and more about showing our kids how to navigate the complexities of their own emotions. The more we model healthy emotional regulation, the better equipped our children will be to handle their own emotional challenges and thrive.

So, the question is: How are you modeling emotion regulation today, and how will your example shape the emotional health of the next generation?

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