Embracing Suffering and Growth: The Role of Existential Therapy in Mental Health

Existential therapy is a unique approach to psychotherapy that focuses on exploring the fundamental aspects of human existence, such as freedom, death, isolation, and meaning. Rooted in existential philosophy, this therapeutic model encourages individuals to confront the realities of life rather than avoid them, fostering personal growth and a deeper understanding of oneself.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the current most popular form of therapy, seeks to identify and challenge harmful thinking patterns. Taking a different approach to the difficulties in an individual's life, existential thinking promotes a change in mindset to one that sees suffering as a unique opportunity for growth rather than an obstacle to be avoided. By facing suffering, individuals can develop resilience, gain insight into their values, and ultimately shape a life that aligns with their deeper sense of purpose.

The Search for Meaning and Its Relevance

A core aspect of existential therapy is the search for meaning. Nearly three in five young adults (58%) have reported experiencing a lack of meaning or purpose in their lives over the past month. Additionally, half of young adults stated that uncertainty about their future negatively impacted their mental health.

As individuals transition from childhood to adulthood, the pressures of life and the pursuit of success often leave them questioning: What is this all for? Existential therapy attempts to help the individual answer this question by encouraging self-reflection. Oftentimes, the answer to this question remains in the unconscious, but can be uncovered with help.

Click to Explore More About the Depths of Existence: A Fun Dive into Existential Therapy

Viktor Frankl and the Birth of Logotherapy

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and Holocaust survivor, developed a unique branch of existential therapy known as logotherapy during his time in multiple concentration camps. Frankl emphasized that meaning is not something to be passively discovered but actively created. He suggests that individuals can find purpose by embracing their unique experiences and choosing how they respond to life's challenges.

He details a story of counseling two suicidal fellow prisoners, each mentioning that they can no longer go on. Frankl recognized that one man had a child on the outside, and another was writing a series of books he had not yet finished, and it could only be completed by him. This story draws attention to the importance of a unique individual's responsibilities that ultimately lay the groundwork for finding meaning in the darkness.

In my work supporting individuals in crisis, helping reveal those unique qualities can provide the strength to get through difficult times. There was a time I was speaking with someone who was experiencing suicidal thoughts. They shared that life felt so hard, they didn’t see a reason to keep going. Hearing this reminded me that everyone—no matter how lost they feel—has something meaningful that can give them a reason to hold on.

We explored this together, and they opened up about their love for poetry. They even shared some of their work with me, and I could see how much it meant to them. Poetry became a window into their sense of worth and creativity—something uniquely theirs. In that moment, they began to reconnect with their value, and it reminded me that everyone carries a spark of worth, even if it gets dimmed by pain.

Finding Meaning in Life Through Existential Therapy

If an individual is attempting to find meaning in their own life, existential therapy encourages them to engage in self-reflection and take ownership of their choices. Rather than feeling trapped by circumstances, they are empowered to recognize their personal freedom and control over responses.

This process often involves identifying what truly matters to them, whether it be relationships, creative pursuits, personal growth, or contributing to something greater than themselves. When attempting to recognize what matters to them, the big picture can often cloud that thinking. What matters varies from individual to individual and can be the smallest thing; one is encouraged to think of anything that might bring the feeling of happiness and growth.

I was talking to an older gentleman about the anxiety and depression he was experiencing around aging and feeling disconnected from the world around him. As we talked, we focused on the small things in life that still brought him joy. He shared that he enjoyed journaling before bed, especially writing about old memories and reflecting on his day.

Together, we came up with the idea to expand his journaling to include the beauty he currently sees in life—whether it’s a moment in nature or time spent with family. This gave him something new to look forward to each day and helped him embrace a more hopeful perspective on aging. This experience emphasizes how even the smallest things in our lives can have a profound impact.

Click to Learn More About How Existential Therapy Can Help You Navigate Life's Toughest Times

Practical Strategies for Finding Meaning

The journey of self-reflection may feel overwhelming at first, but it often begins with simple acts of self-care or moments of kindness. From there, it can grow into something much more meaningful—helping us reconnect with ourselves, our purpose, and the world around us.

Here are strategies that can help in this process:

• Engage in Self-Reflection: Take time to identify your core values, passions, and what truly brings you fulfillment.

  
  

• Embrace Responsibility: Recognize that you have the power to shape your own life and take ownership of your choices.

  
  

• Build Strong Relationships: Connection with others can provide a sense of belonging and purpose.

  
  

• Pursue Personal Growth: Engaging in creative projects, education, or new experiences can help cultivate a deeper sense of meaning.

  
  

• Help Others: Contributing to the well-being of others through acts of kindness or service can provide a strong sense of fulfillment.

  
  

Conclusion: Empowerment Through Existential Therapy

Existential therapy provides a framework for individuals to navigate life with resilience and purpose. By confronting existential concerns and actively seeking meaning, people can cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment and psychological well-being.

In a world where many struggle with questions of identity and purpose, existential therapy offers a guiding light toward self-discovery and personal empowerment.

Reference:

Making Caring Common. (2023). On edge: Understanding and preventing young adults’ mental health challenges. https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/on-edge

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Chris Spadaccino

Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I’m a junior at Texas State University majoring in Psychology. I’m passionate about supporting others on their mental health journeys and deeply believe that no matter where someone starts, with belief and effort, they can grow into something greater than they ever imagined.

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• Ditch FOMO and Embrace JOMO: A Mental Health Perspective on Finding Peace and Connection

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Ditch FOMO and Embrace JOMO: A Mental Health Perspective on Finding Peace and Connection

In our go-go lifestyle, always-on world we’ve created, we’re constantly juggling the demands of a “real” job that pays the bills, squeezing in time for passion projects or side hustles, making it to that 5 AM Pilates class, showing up for weekend brunch with the girls, keeping up with nail and hair appointments, and, of course, fitting in those obligatory family visits, birthday dinners, bachelorette trips, and whatever else pops up on our never-ending social calendars. And let’s be real, if it didn’t make it to socials, did it even happen?

Somehow, we’ve equated a “full” life with a packed schedule, but the reality is, that version of “full” isn’t necessarily what truly fulfills us. So much of what we strive for, how we spend our time, what we chase, what we think we “should be” doing, is influenced by social media, our mentors, our peers, our parents, and the fickle definition of whatever is currently trending. Rarely do we pause to ask ourselves: What actually makes me feel full?

We stretch ourselves so thin in the pursuit of this curated version of “living” that we leave nothing for just us. A quiet night on the couch with ice cream doesn’t seem as exciting to post, but getting dressed up for a dinner party full of strangers? Now that’s something worth sharing—never mind if it completely drains your battery. Because what if you don’t go and later see your friends' stories filled with big smiles and selfies you weren’t a part of? What if you miss out on some juicy tea that was spilled in your absence? And worst of all—what if you weren’t even invited?

And that’s when you’re hit by FOMO!

What is FOMO and When Does it Come Up?

FOMO—aka “the fear of missing out”, has become a cultural phenomenon over the last decade. It’s that nagging feeling of being left out, the anxiety of missing an epic moment, and, at its core, the deeper fear of being forgotten, unwanted, or unneeded. But more than anything, it’s the fear of not being important. Of our social currency slowly losing value.

So much of how we move through life is dictated by this fear, pushing us to say yes to plans we have zero interest in, even when it comes at the expense of our minds, bodies, and souls. We overextend, overcommit, and overstimulate ourselves, not because we want to, but because the other feels even worse.

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Why is FOMO bad?

The Cleveland Clinic published an article diving into the psychological effects of FOMO, linking it directly to heightened anxiety and depression. And it makes sense. Depression often shows up as a constant cycle of comparison, chipping away at self-worth, damaging self-esteem, and negative self-talk. Anxiety, on the other hand manifests as headaches, muscle tension, and that all-too-familiar tightness in the chest. Because let’s be real, the pressure to keep up? It’s exhausting in every possible way.

When we’re constantly chasing external validation, social approval and the need to “fit in”, we place an unbearable strain on us mentally, pushing ourselves to burnout. The toll isn’t just emotional; it’s also very much physical. Running on survival mode for too long can lead to rising cortisol levels, hair fall and breakouts just to name a few. We often forget how closely the mind and body are connected. What happens within us eventually reflects outwardly.

How to battle FOMO? – By Embracing JOMO

We may never fully free ourselves from FOMO. But we can train ourselves to recognize how it triggers us. Anytime we tie our sense of worth to something external, we’re setting ourselves up for failure, maybe not immediately, but eventually. You might think you’ve cracked the code by saying yes to everything, making yourself available everywhere, and keeping up with every social commitment. But to be honest, that pace? It’s an uphill battle that only gets steeper.

So how do we counteract this? We embrace JOMO—the joy of missing out. With this mindset, we put our own needs first. We ask ourselves: What do I actually want in this moment? Do I really want to go to that birthday dinner and be social after a nine-hour work shift? Do I really want to spend money I don’t have on that bachelorette trip? And honestly… so what if I skip brunch? Maybe I just want to sleep in, put a face mask on, and clean my house in peace.

At its core, JOMO is about choosing your joy over external pressure. It’s about leaning into what feels right for you in the moment, and saying NO! unapologetically. Some fun and practical ways to embrace JOMO include:

• Explore activities you've always wanted to try but never had the time for due to a packed schedule.

• Enjoy a relaxing night in with candles, journaling, or reading a good book.

• Start your day with a calming meditation before heading to work.

• Treat yourself to a solo date by cooking a nice meal, enjoying wine, and embracing the

• moment.

The possibilities for enjoying your own company are endless.

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Conclusion

The more “me-time” you spend, the more self-compassion you cultivate, until your sense of validation naturally begins to come from within. In a world full of noise, tuning into your own voice can work wonders in preserving your mental well-being in the long run. And if you ever find yourself in that inner tug-of-war, just remember, Instagram stories always make it look way more fun than it actually was anyway.

So tell us—how might your energy shift if you took a step back and embraced the joy of missing out?

Reference:

Cleveland Clinic. (2023, August). FOMO is real: How the fear of missing out affects your health. Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-fomo

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Niki Kay

Host of the Mindset Mentress Podcast | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I'm a writer, podcast host, and entrepreneur focused on self-discovery and transformation. Through my podcast, Mindset Mentress, I share insights on authenticity and growth. Currently pursuing a journalism certification at NYU to enhance my storytelling and impact.

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Joe's Journey: From Self-Doubt to Self-Acceptance – A Story of Triumph

Note: This content is fictional and created with the intention to inspire, uplift, and support you on your mental health journey. If it feels discouraging, please feel free to disregard it—your well-being is always the priority.

In a world that often demands perfection, the journey to self-acceptance can feel like an uphill battle. But for Joe, a 32-year-old graphic designer from a bustling city, his journey to embracing his true self wasn’t just about accepting who he was—it was about learning to love who he had always been.

The Struggle: A Life Shaped by Doubt

Joe's story began like many others: in a world where external expectations often shaped his inner narrative. Growing up in a family where success was measured by outward accomplishments, Joe always felt like he was falling short. His childhood was filled with comparisons, whether it was about his academic achievements, social success, or even his appearance. He tried hard to fit into molds that were never his own—putting on a mask that hid his insecurities and self-doubt.

In his teenage years, this constant battle for approval intensified. He became a perfectionist, striving to meet the expectations of his peers, family, and society. But no matter how much he achieved—whether it was landing a high-profile design project or getting accolades from colleagues—he never felt truly happy. There was a deep-rooted belief inside him that he wasn’t enough. His self-worth was entirely tied to external validation, and it was always fleeting.

By his mid-20s, Joe had reached a tipping point. Despite his outward successes, he struggled with anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and a sense of emptiness that seemed to follow him wherever he went. He knew something had to change, but he didn’t know how to start.

The Turning Point: Confronting the Mirror

It wasn’t until Joe hit rock bottom that he began his journey toward self-acceptance. After a particularly difficult breakup that left him questioning his worth, he realized he could no longer keep running from himself. He sought therapy and began to unpack the layers of his past—his childhood, his fears, and the pressures he had placed on himself. Through therapy, Joe began to see the root of his struggles: he had spent his whole life measuring his worth through external approval, never considering what he truly wanted or who he truly was.

In one of his therapy sessions, Joe was asked to do something he had never done before—look at himself in the mirror and say, “I am enough.” The first time he said it, it felt like a lie. He had spent so many years believing the opposite, so saying those words felt foreign and uncomfortable. But he continued, day after day, to face the mirror and challenge his beliefs about himself. Slowly, the discomfort began to fade, and for the first time, he began to believe the words.

The Work: Small Steps Toward Self-Love

The process wasn’t easy. Joe didn’t wake up one day and suddenly feel at peace with himself. He had to put in the work, and that meant acknowledging and confronting the parts of himself he had long avoided. Through therapy, journaling, and mindfulness practices, Joe began to understand that self-acceptance wasn’t about achieving perfection—it was about embracing the totality of who he was, flaws and all.

He started making small changes. He began setting boundaries in his relationships, choosing to surround himself with people who supported him unconditionally. He stopped chasing after approval and started focusing on his own values and passions. His creative work, which had always been dictated by what was trendy or marketable, became an expression of his true self—raw, honest, and unapologetic.

One of the most pivotal moments in Joe’s journey came when he realized that self-acceptance wasn’t about fixing himself or becoming someone else—it was about letting go of the need to be perfect and embracing the beauty in his imperfections. He began to view his struggles, his mistakes, and his past not as obstacles but as integral parts of his story that made him stronger and more resilient.

The Impact: A New Chapter

As Joe continued his journey, he noticed profound changes in his life. His relationships became more genuine, as he stopped hiding behind masks and allowed others to see the real him. His anxiety decreased, and for the first time, he felt comfortable in his own skin. He understood that self-acceptance was a process, and while it didn’t mean he had everything figured out, it meant he could move forward with kindness and patience toward himself.

Joe’s journey of self-acceptance also began to impact his work. His creative projects flourished as he became more confident in his abilities and less focused on what others thought of him. His art became more authentic, drawing on his true emotions and experiences. His clients and collaborators appreciated his vulnerability and transparency, and Joe started to gain the respect he had always longed for—not through external validation but through self-assurance and pride in his own work.

The Takeaway: Self-Acceptance is an Ongoing Journey

Joe’s story is a powerful reminder that the journey to self-acceptance is not linear, nor is it about perfection. It’s about embracing the process of growth, vulnerability, and self-compassion. As Joe learned, it’s not about achieving some ideal version of yourself—it’s about accepting and loving yourself just as you are, in every imperfect moment.

To anyone struggling with self-doubt or anxiety, Joe’s journey offers hope: it’s never too late to start the path toward self-acceptance. With time, patience, and the right support, you can learn to love yourself for who you are—not for what others think you should be.

Take the First Step:

If Joe's story resonates with you, know that you too can embark on a journey toward self-acceptance. Start small, be kind to yourself, and remember—you are enough.

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