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Dec 13

Breaking Through the Cloud: How to Find Your Way When Suicidal Thoughts Take Over

When suicidal thoughts take over, finding your way back to hope starts with reaching out for support and using coping strategies. Find your way when suicidal thoughts take over by seeking help, grounding yourself, and taking small steps toward healing.

Breaking Through the Cloud: How to Find Your Way When Suicidal Thoughts Take Over

There are moments in life when it feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on you. The darkness, the heaviness, and the overwhelming sense of hopelessness seem impossible to shake. For some, this emotional cloud manifests as suicidal ideation—a frightening, isolating experience. When you’re trapped in that mental space, it can be hard to see a way out. But there is hope. No matter how dark things seem, there are steps you can take to break through the cloud and begin to heal.


What is Suicidal Ideation?


Suicidal ideation refers to thinking about or planning suicide. It can range from fleeting thoughts of escape to more detailed plans of harm. It’s crucial to remember that experiencing these thoughts does not mean you're weak, flawed, or broken. It means that you're in deep emotional pain and need support. It’s important to take these thoughts seriously and recognize that they don't define who you are.


Suicidal ideation is often triggered by feelings of hopelessness, overwhelming stress, grief, or mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, or PTSD. But the good news is, there are ways to cope and, ultimately, heal. It may not be easy, but with the right support and strategies, you can overcome these moments.


1. Reach Out for Help


When you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, one of the most important things you can do is reach out for support. It might feel hard to do, especially when you’re caught in a cloud of shame or numbness, but it’s crucial to talk to someone.


  • Call a crisis hotline. There are trained professionals who can listen without judgment and help guide you through the dark moment.

  • Speak to a therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can help you understand the underlying issues contributing to your suicidal thoughts and help you build healthier coping mechanisms.

  • Lean on friends or family. Sometimes, sharing your pain with a trusted person can help you feel less alone and more understood.


The act of speaking up—whether to a therapist, a friend, or a hotline—can be incredibly freeing. It helps externalize your pain and reminds you that you don’t have to carry it alone.


2. Create a Safety Plan


If you’re experiencing suicidal ideation, having a safety plan in place can be a lifeline. A safety plan is a list of strategies and actions that can help you regain control when the cloud of suicidal thoughts becomes overwhelming. Here are a few steps to include in your plan:


  • Recognize the warning signs: What are the thoughts, feelings, or situations that trigger these thoughts? Becoming aware of your triggers can help you intervene earlier.

  • Reach out to someone: Write down a list of people you trust and can reach out to when you’re feeling unsafe. Knowing who to call can help you avoid isolation.

  • Distract yourself: Identify activities or hobbies that help distract your mind when you’re struggling—whether that’s taking a walk, journaling, watching a funny show, or practicing deep breathing.

  • Seek professional help: Keep contact information for your therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist readily available.

  • Commit to not acting on the thoughts: Remind yourself that these thoughts are temporary, and while painful, they don’t have to define your actions.


3. Focus on Grounding Techniques


When you’re overwhelmed by dark thoughts, grounding techniques can help you return to the present moment and shift your focus away from the mental chaos. These techniques are designed to help you reconnect to the here and now, allowing you to break free from the thoughts that are pulling you deeper into darkness.


  • Deep breathing: Inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. Repeat this several times to calm your nervous system.

  • 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This sensory exercise can help distract you and bring you into the present.

  • Self-soothing: Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, drink something warm, or listen to calming music. Physical sensations can help ground you when you’re feeling disconnected from yourself.


4. Challenge Negative Thoughts


Suicidal ideation often comes with a narrative of hopelessness—that there’s no way out and things will never get better. This narrative is powerful, but it’s not always true. When you’re in the midst of the cloud, it can be difficult to see anything else, but challenging those negative thoughts is key to breaking free.


  • Practice cognitive restructuring: Write down the negative thought (e.g., “I’m worthless,” or “I can’t do this”), then write a more balanced or hopeful thought (e.g., “I am struggling right now, but I am not defined by my pain” or “This moment is temporary, and I can find help”).

  • Remember past moments of strength: Reflect on times in your life when you’ve overcome challenges, even if they were smaller obstacles. Remind yourself that you have the ability to persevere.


5. Engage in Self-Compassion


Often, when we’re struggling with suicidal ideation, we’re also filled with feelings of shame or self-loathing. The emotional weight can feel even heavier when you don’t feel worthy of love, care, or help. But it’s important to remind yourself that you deserve compassion, especially from yourself.


  • Be gentle with yourself: When the thoughts get overwhelming, treat yourself as you would treat a loved one. Offer yourself kind words and acknowledge that what you're going through is incredibly tough.

  • Practice self-care: Simple acts of self-care, such as getting enough rest, eating nourishing food, or taking a warm bath, can help remind you that you deserve to take care of yourself.


6. Focus on Small, Manageable Steps


When you're in the depths of suicidal ideation, it can feel like everything is too overwhelming. Instead of focusing on everything you feel you need to fix or change, try focusing on small, manageable steps. This can help you feel a sense of agency and accomplishment.


  • Set tiny goals: Instead of thinking, “I need to fix everything,” focus on a small action that can make you feel a little better. This could be drinking water, walking outside for five minutes, or brushing your teeth.

  • Celebrate small wins: Every step you take toward healing, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.


7. Seek Professional Support Long-Term


While there are things you can do in the moment to help manage suicidal ideation, long-term healing is essential. Speaking to a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist can help you explore the root causes of these thoughts and develop healthier coping mechanisms.


Therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), can help you understand the patterns of your thoughts and give you the tools to change them. Medication may also be an option for those who struggle with depression or other underlying mental health conditions.


The Path to Healing: One Step at a Time


Experiencing suicidal ideation is terrifying, but it’s important to remember that these thoughts don’t define you. They are part of a difficult moment, and while it may feel like you’re stuck in darkness, you can find your way out.


Remember, healing is a journey, and it starts with small, compassionate steps. Reach out for help, challenge negative thoughts, and be gentle with yourself. You are not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and want to help you through.


If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to a crisis hotline or a mental health professional. You deserve support, and you don’t have to face this alone.

There is hope. And there is a way through the cloud.


 

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Dec 12

Battling the Winter Blues: Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder and How to Thrive Through the Long Winter

Learning how to thrive through the long winter begins with understanding the impact of Seasonal Affective Disorder and taking proactive steps to nurture both your body and mind.

By embracing light therapy, staying connected, and prioritizing self-care, you can discover how to thrive through the long winter, even when the cold months feel overwhelming.

Battling the Winter Blues: Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder and How to Thrive Through the Long Winter

As the days grow shorter and the chill of winter sets in, many of us experience a shift in mood. For some, this seasonal change is more than just a shift in weather—it’s a powerful emotional rollercoaster that can feel overwhelming. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), often referred to as the "winter blues," affects millions of people each year, causing feelings of sadness, low energy, and a sense of isolation that can be difficult to shake. But the good news is that understanding SAD and taking proactive steps can help you not only survive the long winter but thrive through it.


What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?


Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that follows a seasonal pattern, most commonly occurring during the fall and winter months when daylight hours are shorter. The DSM-5 classifies SAD as a subtype of major depressive disorder (MDD), with the specification of "seasonal pattern." While it shares many of the same symptoms as major depression, SAD typically begins and ends at the same time each year, with the onset of symptoms appearing in late autumn and improving in the spring.


Common symptoms of SAD include:


  • Low energy and fatigue

  • Changes in sleep patterns (often oversleeping)

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness

  • Loss of interest in daily activities

  • Social withdrawal

  • Increased cravings for carbohydrates or weight gain


The severity of these symptoms can range from mild to debilitating, but for those who suffer from SAD, the winter months can feel like a never-ending emotional struggle. So, what’s causing these seasonal shifts in mood?


What Causes SAD?


The exact cause of Seasonal Affective Disorder is still not fully understood, but several factors may contribute to its development:


  1. Reduced Exposure to Natural LightShorter days and long, dark nights mean less exposure to natural sunlight, which can disrupt our biological clock and affect the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter responsible for mood regulation. Lack of sunlight may also affect our production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep, leading to feelings of lethargy and fatigue.


  2. Vitamin D DeficiencySunlight is a primary source of vitamin D, and during the winter months, we may not get enough. Research has shown that low vitamin D levels are associated with an increased risk of depression. People who live in northern latitudes or places with long winters are particularly susceptible to this deficiency.


  3. Changes in RoutineWinter often leads to a more sedentary lifestyle. We tend to spend more time indoors, and with the holidays over, social events can become less frequent, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. The lack of physical activity during the winter months can also exacerbate symptoms of depression.


  4. Genetic and Biological FactorsSAD is more common in individuals with a family history of depression or other mood disorders. There may also be certain genetic predispositions that make individuals more susceptible to the condition.


  5. Psychological and Emotional FactorsFor some, the winter months can bring about an emotional "crash" after the excitement and warmth of the holiday season. The stark contrast between the festive season and the bleak winter months can contribute to feelings of sadness or loss.


How to Cope With Seasonal Affective Disorder: Tips for Surviving and Thriving Through Winter


While SAD can feel overwhelming, it is a condition that is treatable. There are several strategies to help alleviate symptoms and improve overall mental wellbeing during the winter months. Here are some practical tips for managing SAD:


1. Light Therapy: Your Winter Lifeline


Light therapy, also known as phototherapy, is one of the most effective treatments for Seasonal Affective Disorder. This involves exposure to a specially designed lightbox that mimics natural sunlight. Light therapy can help regulate your body’s internal clock, boost serotonin levels, and improve mood. It’s typically recommended to use the lightbox for 20-30 minutes each morning. Make sure to talk to a healthcare provider before starting light therapy to find the right approach for you.


2. Get Moving: Physical Activity as a Mood Booster


Even though the cold weather may make you want to curl up under a blanket, regular exercise can have a significant impact on improving mood and fighting depression. Physical activity releases endorphins—natural mood lifters—and helps combat fatigue. Even if you’re not a gym person, try activities like walking, yoga, or stretching at home. If outdoor exercise isn’t appealing, consider indoor activities like dancing or using an online workout program.


3. Make Your Home a Light and Cozy Haven


Maximize natural light during the day by opening blinds and curtains and sitting near windows. Consider investing in full-spectrum light bulbs to brighten up your space and mimic daylight. Adding cozy elements like blankets, candles, and soft lighting can help create a warm, inviting atmosphere that boosts your sense of comfort during the colder months.


4. Stay Connected: Combat Isolation


Isolation can worsen the symptoms of SAD. Try to stay connected with friends and family, even if it’s through virtual means. Make plans for social outings, even if it’s just a coffee date or a walk with a friend. Reach out when you’re feeling low—talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help alleviate the emotional burden of winter depression.


5. Boost Your Nutrition and Vitamin D


Winter months often lead to less time spent outside, which means less sunlight and potential vitamin D deficiency. Consider taking a vitamin D supplement (with guidance from a healthcare provider) to help balance mood and energy levels. Eating a healthy, balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can also help stabilize blood sugar levels and reduce mood swings.


6. Establish a Winter Routine


A predictable daily routine can help maintain stability and structure during the winter months. Set regular wake-up and bedtime hours to help regulate your sleep-wake cycle. Incorporate enjoyable activities into your routine, whether it’s reading, cooking, or practicing mindfulness. The key is to create consistency and activities that bring joy, no matter how small.


7. Seek Professional Help


If your symptoms are severe or persistent, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can offer support and help you develop coping strategies for dealing with SAD. In some cases, medications like antidepressants may be recommended to help manage symptoms.


8. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation


Practices like mindfulness, meditation, and deep-breathing exercises can help reduce stress and anxiety, which can be exacerbated during the winter months. Taking even 10-15 minutes a day to clear your mind and focus on your breathing can have a profound impact on your emotional state.


Final Thoughts: You Can Thrive, Even in the Darkest Days


Seasonal Affective Disorder may cast a shadow over the winter months, but with the right tools and strategies, you can still find light during the darkness. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this struggle, and there are effective ways to manage and overcome SAD. Whether it’s through light therapy, exercise, staying connected, or professional support, there are steps you can take to feel better and reclaim your energy.


As winter approaches, take the time to care for your mental health. You don’t have to endure the long winter months in isolation or despair. Thrive through the season, and embrace the warmth of self-care, connection, and healing.


 

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Dec 12

When Love Feels Foreign: Healing from Childhood Trauma and Learning to Feel Loved Again

Learning to feel loved again is a journey that begins with understanding your past and embracing the possibility of healing. With patience and self-compassion, you can rediscover the warmth of connection and learn to accept love, no matter the scars you've carried.

When Love Feels Foreign: Healing from Childhood Trauma and Learning to Feel Loved Again

For many of us, love is a feeling that comes naturally—a warm embrace from a parent, words of affirmation from a friend, or the simple joy of human connection. But for some, love isn’t instinctive. It’s learned, often after years of emotional numbness or neglect. Growing up in an environment where love was absent or conditional can leave emotional scars that make it difficult to feel loved—even when affection is given.


Imagine this: You’re given a hug. The arms around you are warm, the body pressing close feels comforting. But you feel nothing. No warmth. No connection. No sense of security. Just emptiness. For someone who’s experienced neglect or emotional abandonment as a child, a hug may feel like nothing more than a physical gesture. The love that’s supposed to come with it is absent.


This disconnection doesn’t make you broken; it simply means that the brain and heart have learned to block out love as a defense mechanism—a coping strategy for trauma. But that doesn’t mean healing isn’t possible. You don’t have to live your whole life feeling unworthy or incapable of receiving love. Here’s why and how you can begin to feel loved again, even after the wounds of childhood neglect.


When Love Doesn’t Feel Real: The Roots of Emotional Numbness


For those who grew up without love, their emotional experience is often shaped by neglect, abuse, or inconsistency in caregiving. As children, our brains are wired to seek safety, connection, and affection from our caregivers. When those basic needs aren’t met—whether through abandonment, emotional or physical abuse, or even just a lack of nurturing—our emotional development can be stunted. The result? An inability to recognize or accept love, even when it’s given freely.


For example, consider someone who grew up in an environment where their caregivers were emotionally unavailable or unpredictable. They may have learned to suppress their feelings to avoid the pain of abandonment. As adults, they might struggle to feel anything when someone offers kindness or affection, even if that person genuinely cares.


Another common scenario involves people who were raised in abusive households. They may have been repeatedly told they weren’t good enough or that love was conditional on their behavior. For them, being hugged or told “I love you” could trigger discomfort or even anger, because they’ve internalized that love is a tool for control, not a source of comfort.


Other Examples of Love Feeling Foreign:


  • The ‘Perfectionist’ Syndrome: A person raised in an environment where love was only given when they succeeded or behaved perfectly may feel a deep sense of unworthiness. They might find it hard to accept compliments or affection because they feel they haven’t earned it.


  • The Isolated Survivor: Some children grow up in emotionally or physically isolating environments, where emotional connection is scarce. As adults, they may struggle to trust others or find it difficult to form close relationships, even though they long for connection.


  • The Abandoned Child: A person whose primary caregiver abandoned them or was emotionally absent might never learn how to receive affection. When offered love, it can feel like a foreign concept, something they don’t deserve or can’t understand.


So, What Can You Do?


The first step toward healing is acknowledging the impact of your past on your present. Understanding that your inability to feel loved is a result of your trauma, not a reflection of your worth, is essential to healing. It’s not about changing who you are; it’s about learning how to open up to the love that is already around you.


Here are a few ways to begin reconnecting with love, both from others and from yourself:


1. Allow Yourself to Feel Safe


Start by creating a safe emotional space for yourself. This might mean seeking therapy or counseling to work through past trauma. Talking to a professional can help you untangle the feelings that block love, such as fear of vulnerability or deep-seated shame.


2. Practice Self-Compassion


It’s easy to feel unworthy of love when you’ve been taught that you’re not good enough. But self-compassion is the antidote. Start by being gentle with yourself. Recognize that your feelings are valid, and give yourself permission to feel worthy of love—because you are.


3. Learn to Accept Affection Gradually


If you’ve grown up without affection, receiving love can feel uncomfortable or even frightening. Start small. Let yourself receive simple acts of kindness without trying to analyze or push them away. Whether it’s a hug, a compliment, or a kind gesture, try to just be present in the moment, without judgment.


4. Reframe What Love Means


Love doesn’t always come in the form of big gestures. Sometimes, love is found in the quiet moments of connection: a cup of coffee shared with a friend, a kind word, a moment of silence with someone who understands you. Reframe love as something consistent and steady, not just a momentary feeling of euphoria.


5. Seek Out Healthy Relationships


Surround yourself with people who show genuine, unconditional care for you. Being in a safe, healthy relationship—whether with a partner, friend, or even a pet—can help you rediscover the feeling of being loved. Healthy relationships teach us how to receive love in a safe, nurturing environment.


6. Start With Physical Touch


Sometimes, learning to feel loved again can begin with physical touch. If a hug feels uncomfortable, try holding hands with someone you trust or sitting side by side without speaking. Gradually, your body will learn that closeness can be comforting, not threatening.


7. Be Patient With Yourself


Healing takes time, and that’s okay. It’s not a race to "get over" your past, but a journey of healing at your own pace. Every step you take toward accepting love is a victory, no matter how small.


You Are Not Alone: Healing Is Possible


The road to feeling loved again may seem long, especially if your childhood was marked by trauma and neglect. But you don’t have to carry this weight alone. Healing is possible, and with the right support and tools, you can learn to feel the love that has always been there, waiting for you to embrace it.


Remember, you are worthy of love—not because of what you’ve been through, but simply because you exist. Your past doesn’t have to define your future.


If you’ve struggled with feeling loved due to childhood trauma, know that there is always hope for change. Love is something you can learn to feel again, one step at a time. And the first step? Just knowing that you deserve it.


 

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