Ditch FOMO and Embrace JOMO: A Mental Health Perspective on Finding Peace and Connection

In our go-go lifestyle, always-on world we’ve created, we’re constantly juggling the demands of a “real” job that pays the bills, squeezing in time for passion projects or side hustles, making it to that 5 AM Pilates class, showing up for weekend brunch with the girls, keeping up with nail and hair appointments, and, of course, fitting in those obligatory family visits, birthday dinners, bachelorette trips, and whatever else pops up on our never-ending social calendars. And let’s be real, if it didn’t make it to socials, did it even happen?

Somehow, we’ve equated a “full” life with a packed schedule, but the reality is, that version of “full” isn’t necessarily what truly fulfills us. So much of what we strive for, how we spend our time, what we chase, what we think we “should be” doing, is influenced by social media, our mentors, our peers, our parents, and the fickle definition of whatever is currently trending. Rarely do we pause to ask ourselves: What actually makes me feel full?

We stretch ourselves so thin in the pursuit of this curated version of “living” that we leave nothing for just us. A quiet night on the couch with ice cream doesn’t seem as exciting to post, but getting dressed up for a dinner party full of strangers? Now that’s something worth sharing—never mind if it completely drains your battery. Because what if you don’t go and later see your friends' stories filled with big smiles and selfies you weren’t a part of? What if you miss out on some juicy tea that was spilled in your absence? And worst of all—what if you weren’t even invited?

And that’s when you’re hit by FOMO!

What is FOMO and When Does it Come Up?

FOMO—aka “the fear of missing out”, has become a cultural phenomenon over the last decade. It’s that nagging feeling of being left out, the anxiety of missing an epic moment, and, at its core, the deeper fear of being forgotten, unwanted, or unneeded. But more than anything, it’s the fear of not being important. Of our social currency slowly losing value.

So much of how we move through life is dictated by this fear, pushing us to say yes to plans we have zero interest in, even when it comes at the expense of our minds, bodies, and souls. We overextend, overcommit, and overstimulate ourselves, not because we want to, but because the other feels even worse.

Click to Learn About Self-Care Strategies for When You’re the One Caring for a Loved One

Why is FOMO bad?

The Cleveland Clinic published an article diving into the psychological effects of FOMO, linking it directly to heightened anxiety and depression. And it makes sense. Depression often shows up as a constant cycle of comparison, chipping away at self-worth, damaging self-esteem, and negative self-talk. Anxiety, on the other hand manifests as headaches, muscle tension, and that all-too-familiar tightness in the chest. Because let’s be real, the pressure to keep up? It’s exhausting in every possible way.

When we’re constantly chasing external validation, social approval and the need to “fit in”, we place an unbearable strain on us mentally, pushing ourselves to burnout. The toll isn’t just emotional; it’s also very much physical. Running on survival mode for too long can lead to rising cortisol levels, hair fall and breakouts just to name a few. We often forget how closely the mind and body are connected. What happens within us eventually reflects outwardly.

How to battle FOMO? – By Embracing JOMO

We may never fully free ourselves from FOMO. But we can train ourselves to recognize how it triggers us. Anytime we tie our sense of worth to something external, we’re setting ourselves up for failure, maybe not immediately, but eventually. You might think you’ve cracked the code by saying yes to everything, making yourself available everywhere, and keeping up with every social commitment. But to be honest, that pace? It’s an uphill battle that only gets steeper.

So how do we counteract this? We embrace JOMO—the joy of missing out. With this mindset, we put our own needs first. We ask ourselves: What do I actually want in this moment? Do I really want to go to that birthday dinner and be social after a nine-hour work shift? Do I really want to spend money I don’t have on that bachelorette trip? And honestly… so what if I skip brunch? Maybe I just want to sleep in, put a face mask on, and clean my house in peace.

At its core, JOMO is about choosing your joy over external pressure. It’s about leaning into what feels right for you in the moment, and saying NO! unapologetically. Some fun and practical ways to embrace JOMO include:

• Explore activities you've always wanted to try but never had the time for due to a packed schedule.

• Enjoy a relaxing night in with candles, journaling, or reading a good book.

• Start your day with a calming meditation before heading to work.

• Treat yourself to a solo date by cooking a nice meal, enjoying wine, and embracing the

• moment.

The possibilities for enjoying your own company are endless.

Click to Learn More About Self-Care for One: Thriving Alone with Chronic Illness

Conclusion

The more “me-time” you spend, the more self-compassion you cultivate, until your sense of validation naturally begins to come from within. In a world full of noise, tuning into your own voice can work wonders in preserving your mental well-being in the long run. And if you ever find yourself in that inner tug-of-war, just remember, Instagram stories always make it look way more fun than it actually was anyway.

So tell us—how might your energy shift if you took a step back and embraced the joy of missing out?

💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?

Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉

 [Schedule Now]

Reference:

Cleveland Clinic. (2023, August). FOMO is real: How the fear of missing out affects your health. Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-fomo

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Niki Kay

Host of the Mindset Mentress Podcast | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I'm a writer, podcast host, and entrepreneur focused on self-discovery and transformation. Through my podcast, Mindset Mentress, I share insights on authenticity and growth. Currently pursuing a journalism certification at NYU to enhance my storytelling and impact.

linkedin | instagram

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Baby Reindeer: A Darkly Hilarious Look at Trauma, Power, and Redemption

Netflix's 2024 British black comedy-drama thriller Baby Reindeer is a gripping and unpredictable miniseries that has taken audiences by storm. Created by and starring Richard Gadd, who also adapts his autobiographical one-man show for the screen, this miniseries delves into the complexities of trauma, vulnerability, and the thin line between comedy and tragedy. Directed by Weronika Tofilska and Josephine Bornebusch, Baby Reindeer is both a sharp commentary on the impact of sexual assault and an exploration of how we process pain, guilt, and healing. The series has garnered critical acclaim, winning six Primetime Emmy Awards, including Outstanding Limited Series, and two Golden Globe Awards, affirming its powerful impact on viewers.

Exploring the Dark Side of Comedy

At the heart of Baby Reindeer is Donny Dunn, an aspiring comedian and bartender who becomes entangled in a disturbing cycle of trauma and unhealthy relationships. The show’s blend of comedy and drama makes it unique—Donny uses humor as both a shield and a coping mechanism, much like many people do when faced with trauma. His dark humor serves as an escape from the horrors of his past, yet it is clear that beneath the laughter, he is desperately struggling with his own pain and shame. This contrast is both poignant and unsettling, forcing us to question the ways in which humor can mask deep emotional scars.

Gadd’s portrayal of Donny is compelling, showing a man attempting to reclaim his life while grappling with memories of abuse and betrayal. The character's struggle is painfully relatable for many who have experienced trauma but still try to "move on" or "laugh it off" in order to survive. The series is a reminder that trauma doesn’t neatly fit into societal narratives of healing—it’s messy, complicated, and often masked behind a veneer of normalcy.

The Intersection of Power and Control

A major theme in Baby Reindeer is the abuse of power and control. Through Donny’s experiences with Darrien O'Connor, a TV writer who mentors him, we see how the manipulation and violation of trust lead to long-lasting psychological damage. Darrien’s sexual assault of Donny during drug-induced blackouts highlights the insidious nature of power dynamics and how victims often find themselves trapped in cycles of guilt, shame, and manipulation. This aspect of the series challenges viewers to reflect on how easily power can be exploited in intimate and professional relationships, especially when there is a disparity in status, influence, and trust.

The series also explores how abuse can be hidden behind layers of denial, normalization, and the desire to avoid confrontation. Donny’s initial reluctance to confront his trauma or speak out about his experiences is a painful portrayal of how societal pressures and personal fear can keep victims silent. Baby Reindeer speaks to those who have ever felt powerless, urging them to understand that speaking out and seeking support is not a sign of weakness, but an essential step toward healing.

The Stalker: A Symbol of Unresolved Pain

Another key storyline in Baby Reindeer revolves around Martha, a woman who becomes obsessed with Donny after he offers her a cup of tea at his pub. Martha's fixation on Donny becomes an invasive, unsettling force in his life, leading to stalking and violent threats. On the surface, this might seem like a typical narrative of obsession or an unhealthy relationship. However, when viewed through the lens of Donny’s trauma, Martha’s behavior takes on a deeper, symbolic meaning.

Martha is a reflection of the lingering, unresolved pain that Donny carries with him from his past experiences. Her obsession can be seen as an external manifestation of the internal chaos that Donny cannot escape. In many ways, Martha’s stalking mirrors the psychological trauma Donny endures from his prior abuse—unwanted, invasive, and relentless. The show cleverly uses this dynamic to emphasize the notion that trauma doesn’t disappear; it continues to haunt the victim in different forms until it is properly confronted.

Healing and Redemption

Despite the deeply troubling and disturbing nature of the events in Baby Reindeer, the series also speaks to the possibility of healing and redemption. Donny’s eventual decision to report Martha to the police is a small but significant step in reclaiming control of his life. It symbolizes the importance of boundaries, self-respect, and acknowledging the damage that has been done, no matter how difficult it is to face. Even more significantly, when Donny reunites with Darrien, he is faced with the uncomfortable possibility of returning to the very situation that caused him so much harm. This is the most difficult crossroads—where healing requires not just confronting past trauma but learning how to break free from toxic patterns.

The series is a powerful reminder that the road to healing is often not linear, and sometimes redemption doesn’t come from external validation but from taking ownership of one’s own story. Baby Reindeer offers a refreshing, albeit challenging, narrative that invites viewers to explore the complexity of healing and reclaiming one's life from the depths of trauma.

Conclusion

Baby Reindeer is a darkly comic, emotionally charged series that explores trauma, abuse, and the aftermath of surviving such experiences. It forces us to confront uncomfortable truths about the intersections of power, vulnerability, and healing. As we watch Donny’s story unfold, we are reminded that trauma doesn’t simply go away, but with courage, self-awareness, and support, it is possible to begin the journey toward reclaiming control over our lives and healing.

Eye-Opening Question: How do we recognize when our past trauma is influencing our present relationships, and what steps can we take to confront it in healthy, supportive ways?

💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?

Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉

 [Schedule Now]

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Unseen Scars: The Hidden Toll of Bullying in Middle School and How We Can Help Our Children Heal

The toll of bullying in middle school can be severe, often leading to long-term emotional and psychological scars, including anxiety, depression, and decreased self-esteem. As children navigate these formative years, the effects of bullying can impact their academic performance, social interactions, and overall mental well-being.

Middle school is often a time of significant transition for children. They're navigating new social circles, academic pressures, and their growing identities. Unfortunately, it’s also a time when bullying can take root and begin to shape how a child perceives themselves and the world around them. While we often think of bullying as a mere rite of passage or something kids should just “toughen up” from, the reality is that bullying in middle school can have long-lasting effects on a child’s mental health, well-being, and self-esteem.

The Seriousness of Bullying in Middle School

Bullying isn’t just a playground problem; it’s a deeply troubling issue that affects millions of children every year. In fact, the National Bullying Prevention Center reports that about one in five students experience bullying. Middle school students are especially vulnerable because they are in the middle of forming their sense of identity, which makes them more susceptible to the opinions and behavior of their peers.

Bullying can manifest in various forms — physical, verbal, social, and increasingly online through social media. Whether it’s through cruel comments, exclusion from groups, rumors, or online harassment, bullying can have a far-reaching impact on a child’s mental health. Studies show that bullying is linked to increased rates of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and in extreme cases, suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

How Bullying Affects Mental Health

Children who experience bullying often internalize the hurtful things they hear, which can lead to diminished self-worth and feelings of helplessness. The chronic stress from being bullied can even alter a child’s brain chemistry, affecting their ability to concentrate, engage with peers, and perform academically. The emotional scars often outlast the physical ones, and the child may carry these effects into adulthood if they don't get the right support.

The emotional pain can also manifest physically. Children may experience sleep disturbances, headaches, stomachaches, and even changes in eating habits. The mental and physical toll that bullying takes on children often goes unnoticed, leaving them to face the weight of it alone.

How Parents Can Support Their Child

As parents, guardians, and educators, we play a critical role in helping children navigate bullying. It’s crucial that we not only recognize when a child is being bullied but also provide them with the tools to respond effectively. Here are a few practical tips to support our children:

1. Listen Without Judgment

   When a child opens up about being bullied, the first step is to listen with empathy and without interruption. Let them express their feelings, validate their emotions, and assure them that what they’re experiencing is real and important. This will help them feel seen and understood.

   
   

2. Teach Them How to Respond

   One of the most effective ways to combat bullying is by teaching children how to respond. Encourage them to stand tall, look the bully in the eye, and assertively tell them to stop. Role-playing different scenarios can help build their confidence to respond in real-life situations. Let them know they have the right to walk away and seek help when needed.

   
   

3. Foster Strong Communication Skills

   Open communication is essential. Make sure your child knows that they can come to you with any issues they’re facing. Regularly check in with your child, especially if you suspect they may be dealing with bullying. This shows them they are not alone and you are a safe person to turn to.

   
   

4. Help Them Build a Support System

   Children who experience bullying often feel isolated. Encourage your child to build strong friendships with supportive peers. You can also suggest activities where they can meet new friends, like joining clubs, sports, or after-school programs. A strong support system can provide a buffer against the effects of bullying.

   
   

5. Encourage Self-Compassion and Resilience

   Teach your child to practice self-compassion and remind them that their worth is not determined by the opinions of others. Encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy and that build their self-esteem, like drawing, writing, or sports. Help them focus on their strengths, rather than the negativity from bullies.

   
   

6. Get Involved at School

   Bullying is often a school-wide issue, and schools need to take responsibility for creating a safe environment. Speak with your child’s teachers, school counselor, and principal about anti-bullying programs or policies. Ensure that there are clear steps in place to address bullying when it occurs, and that your child knows how to report incidents safely.

   
   

7. Seek Professional Help if Needed

   If bullying has caused significant emotional distress or mental health issues for your child, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide your child with coping strategies, help them process their feelings, and support their emotional recovery. Therapy can also help children rebuild their self-esteem and find ways to heal from bullying’s emotional scars.

   
   

8. Consider Alternative Schooling Options

   Sometimes, despite all efforts, the bullying may not stop or the school environment may not be conducive to your child's well-being. If the bullying persists or worsens and your child’s mental health is at risk, it may be necessary to remove your child from that environment temporarily or permanently. Homeschooling, transferring to a different school, or seeking out a more supportive educational setting might be the best decision to help your child heal and regain their confidence.

   
   

Conclusion

Bullying may start as something small but can quickly grow into a powerful force that shapes a child’s identity and mental health. As adults, we must take this issue seriously and provide the necessary tools and support for our children to overcome these challenges. It’s not enough to just talk about bullying; we need to actively listen, equip children with strategies to respond, and advocate for a safer, more supportive environment.

By being proactive in supporting our children through these difficult times, we help them build resilience and ensure they understand that bullying does not define their worth.

Question to ponder: How can we, as a society, create an environment where children feel safe, supported, and empowered to speak out against bullying, without fear of judgment or isolation? And when should we recognize it’s time to remove a child from a harmful situation to protect their mental health?

💬 Ready to start your own healing journey?

Book a session with one of our compassionate therapists at Moody Melon Counseling. We’re here when you’re ready. 🍉

 [Schedule Now]

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