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When to Seek Help for Narcissistic Personality Disorder and How to Approach a Loved One

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Feb 22

When you approach a loved one with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it’s important to remain calm and non-confrontational. Gently suggest therapy as a way to improve self-awareness and relationships, framing it as a positive step toward personal growth rather than a critique of their behavior.

When to Seek Help for Narcissistic Personality Disorder and How to Approach a Loved One

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is often misunderstood. The word "narcissistic" is frequently tossed around in everyday conversation, sometimes unfairly labeling people who seem a little self-centered or overly focused on their appearance. However, NPD is a serious mental health condition that can have profound effects on not only the person who suffers from it but also on their loved ones. Recognizing the signs, understanding when it's time to seek professional help, and knowing how to communicate with a person with NPD are essential steps in navigating this challenging disorder.


What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?


NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People with NPD often have a distorted self-image and may struggle with intense insecurity despite appearing confident or even arrogant. The disorder is more than just being self-centered or attention-seeking; it affects their relationships, work life, and overall ability to connect with others on an emotional level.

Some common symptoms of NPD include:


  • A grandiose sense of one’s importance or achievements

  • A need for excessive admiration

  • A lack of empathy and disregard for others’ feelings

  • A sense of entitlement, believing they deserve special treatment

  • Difficulty accepting criticism or rejection

  • Exploitative behavior in relationships (using others for personal gain)

  • Envy of others or belief that others are envious of them


When to Seek Help: Is It Time?


If you or someone you know shows signs of NPD, it can be difficult to know when to seek help. Unlike many other mental health conditions, those with narcissistic tendencies often don’t realize that their behavior is harmful or problematic. This means that seeking help might not be on their radar, and this can leave family members and friends feeling stuck.

Here are some key indicators that it might be time for professional help:


  1. Impact on relationships: If the behavior is causing significant strain in relationships, whether with family, friends, or at work, it may be time to talk to a mental health professional.

  2. Emotional distress: If the person with NPD is experiencing depression, anxiety, or an overwhelming sense of worthlessness, therapy can help address these underlying feelings.

  3. Exploitation or manipulation: If they are consistently taking advantage of others, this can lead to toxic patterns that require intervention.

  4. Persistent denial: If they refuse to acknowledge the consequences of their behavior, it might be necessary to involve a mental health professional who can help with self-awareness.


How to Talk to a Loved One with NPD


Approaching someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not easy, especially because they often see themselves as flawless and may become defensive or hostile when confronted. However, with patience and tact, it is possible to guide them toward seeking help.


Here are some strategies for communicating with someone with NPD:


1. Be Calm and Non-Confrontational


When discussing sensitive issues with someone with NPD, it’s crucial to remain calm and avoid blaming or criticizing them directly. They may perceive criticism as an attack, which can trigger anger or even complete withdrawal. Instead, try using “I” statements. For example, “I feel hurt when I don’t feel listened to,” rather than “You never listen to me.”


2. Validate Their Feelings


People with NPD often feel misunderstood or unappreciated. While this doesn't excuse harmful behavior, acknowledging their feelings can make them feel heard. For instance, you could say, “I can understand that you feel like you deserve respect for your achievements, but I also want to share how I’m feeling.”


3. Set Boundaries


NPD can lead to manipulative or exploitative behavior, so setting clear boundaries is essential. Let them know what behaviors are unacceptable and stick to those boundaries consistently. Be firm but respectful, reinforcing that your need for respect and fairness is non-negotiable.


4. Suggest Therapy Gently


Instead of suggesting that they “need help” directly, which could lead to defensiveness, try proposing therapy in a way that focuses on self-improvement or understanding themselves better. For example, you could say, “I’ve been reading a lot about how therapy can help people understand themselves better and improve relationships. Have you ever considered it?” This can reduce feelings of shame and increase the likelihood that they’ll consider the idea of therapy.


Example Scenario


Imagine your sibling, Alex, exhibits many of the traits associated with NPD. Alex constantly talks about their achievements, demands attention, and becomes irritable when they don’t get the admiration they think they deserve. Over time, this has put a strain on your relationship, and you’ve noticed they’re becoming more isolated. You’ve tried to communicate your concerns, but Alex brushes them off, claiming they’re "fine" and that everyone else is the problem.


One day, you decide to try a different approach. Instead of confronting them about their behavior directly, you talk about how you’re feeling. “I know you’re really focused on your career, but lately, I feel like we’ve lost touch. I miss our conversations and I’m wondering if you’ve ever thought about talking to someone about your goals and relationships?”

This approach avoids putting Alex on the defensive, makes it about you rather than directly criticizing them, and opens the door to therapy as a means of personal growth.


Final Thoughts


Navigating a relationship with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be difficult, especially when it comes to encouraging them to seek help. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, set boundaries, and encourage self-awareness without placing blame. If you or a loved one struggles with NPD, therapy is an effective way to improve self-esteem, increase emotional understanding, and repair relationships.


So, the question remains: can we help someone change when they don’t believe there’s anything wrong with them?


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Navigating Anxiety in College: A Real-Talk Guide for Students

  • Writer: Carlie Malott | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
    Carlie Malott | Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer
  • Feb 20

College life can feel overwhelming with endless tasks and social pressure, and anxiety often sneaks in under the hustle. But you're not alone—many students experience it. The good news is there are ways to manage it.

Navigating Anxiety in College: A Real-Talk Guide for Students

Let’s be honest: college can feel like a pressure cooker. You’re juggling classes, extracurriculars, maybe a part-time job, and still trying to have some sort of social life. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin. Underneath all this hustle, anxiety can sneak up and cling to you like a sticky note you just can’t peel off. And if you’re reading this thinking, “Yep, that’s totally me,” then you’re not alone. Let’s dig into what anxiety really looks like for us college students - and explore some modern therapy approaches, personal stories, and tips to get through the day without losing our sanity.


1. College Life and the Anxiety Factor


I used to think feeling nervous and pulling all-nighters was just part of the college experience. But when my heart started racing every time I opened my syllabus - or even heard my professor say “group project” - I knew something was off. Sure, everyone feels stress, but there’s a point when those sweaty palms and sleepless nights stop being “normal” and turn into a daily battle with anxious thoughts.



Ditching the Stigma


A lot of us brush off our anxiety or hide it. We might think it makes us look weak or like we can’t “handle college.” But here’s the truth: admitting you’re anxious is actually pretty brave. It’s the first step to taking care of your mental health in a world that often acts like “living on caffeine and four hours of sleep” is some kind of badge of honor.


2. Cutting-Edge Therapy: Not Your Parents’ Couch Session


If you’ve imagined therapy as lying on a couch in some dimly lit office, that’s not the only option anymore. Telehealth platforms are booming, and they can be cheaper than in-person sessions. Plus, you don’t have to worry about sprinting across campus to make your appointment. There are also mental health apps that use techniques from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you work through worries in bite-sized steps. It’s kind of like having a mini counselor in your pocket.


● Upside: Flexible scheduling, privacy (you can do it from your dorm), and less social pressure.


● Downside: You lose some of that personal connection you’d get IRL, and not all apps are created equal.


Biofeedback and VR


Some colleges are experimenting with fancy tools like biofeedback, which measures stuff like your heart rate or muscle tension while you respond to anxious thoughts. It’s trippy, but it can help you see how your body freaks out in real time - and teach you how to calm it. Virtual reality (VR) is also stepping in for specific anxieties, like stage fright or fear of heights. Imagine “practicing” your dreaded public speaking assignment in front of a virtual audience before doing it in real life. That’s a game-changer if your next speech has you losing sleep.


DBT: Not Just for Borderline Personality Disorder


Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is often linked to treating borderline personality disorder, but it’s actually super useful for anyone dealing with intense feelings - chello, anxiety! DBT teaches mindfulness, emotional regulation, and ways to handle overwhelming moments so you don’t spiral into a full-on meltdown.


3. A Quick Reality Check: One Student’s Story


Taylor is a junior majoring in communications. On paper, everything was going great: decent grades, a part-time gig at the student cafe, and plenty of friends. But inside, Taylor felt like a tightrope walker - constantly one slip away from crashing.


The Breaking Point


One night, Taylor was prepping for exams and nearly passed out from sheer panic. No matter how many notes got highlighted, it felt like failing was inevitable. After that borderline panic attack, Taylor finally admitted something had to change.


Small Steps, Huge Impact


● Campus Counseling: Taylor started weekly sessions and realized anxiety was tied to perfectionism and fear of letting others down.


● Finding a Group: Joining a campus support group for students struggling with stress helped Taylor see that no one’s alone in this.


● Redefining “Success”: Taylor learned to set bedtime boundaries - no more studying past midnight if it meant getting zero rest.


Taylor’s story shows that while anxiety can feel like a constant companion, it doesn’t have to own you. With the right resources and some self-compassion, you can balance your workload and mental health without losing yourself in the process.


4. Mental Health and Work: Balancing Jobs, Internships, and Sanity


Sure, we all need some extra cash (textbooks aren’t cheap!) or want that fancy internship for our resume. But adding work to your jam-packed schedule can crank up the anxiety to a whole new level.


Tackling Workplace Anxiety


1. Keep It Real: You can give your manager a heads-up about a crazy exam week. You don’t have to share your life story, but a little transparency can go a long way.


2. Micro-Breaks Matter: Literally walk away from your desk for five minutes to stretch or breathe. Little resets prevent big freak-outs.


3. Know Your Limits: Saying “no” doesn’t make you lazy. If you’re drowning in responsibilities, taking on another shift or project might be the tipping point for your mental well-being.


5. DIY Techniques to Tame Anxiety


Grounding 101


5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. It’s a quick way to snap back to reality when your mind is racing.


Journal It Out


Even if it’s just a list of what’s bugging you, writing it down can help untangle your thoughts.


Breathe Like a Pro


Box Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Sounds simple, but you’ll be shocked how much it helps when you’re spiraling.


Tense and Release


Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tighten and then relax each muscle group from your toes to your head. It’s a neat trick for shutting down that anxious energy.


Looking Ahead: Building a Healthy Future


Sparking the Conversation


It can be awkward to say, “Hey, I’m freaking out,” but opening up - whether it’s to a counselor, friend, or even in a class discussion - is the first big step. You’ll probably find more people relating than you ever expected.


Redefining What Success Means


Okay, sure, good grades are important. But if you’re an anxious mess 24/7, is that really success? Taking care of yourself - physically and mentally - can actually boost your academic game. Think about it: a well-rested and mentally healthy you is more productive than a burnout zombie who can’t focus.


Parting Thoughts


Anxiety doesn’t have to define your college experience. Between new therapy tools, campus resources, and proven self-care strategies, there are legit ways to manage it. The real question is: what small step can you take today - even if it’s a two-minute breathing exercise or texting a friend for support - to start loosening anxiety’s grip?


Trust me, I get that it can be scary to admit you’re feeling overwhelmed. But asking for help isn’t weakness - it’s the ultimate power move. With the right support, you can make the most of your college years, anxiety and all. You’ve got this.

Carlie Malott

Carlie Malott

Crisis Counselor | Guest Writer of Moody Melon Magazine

I’m a junior at Colorado College studying Psychology and Education. Passionate about mental health, I believe normalizing conversations about struggles fosters belonging and hope—values I strive to integrate into all my work.



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Cal Trask’s Battle for Redemption: Unraveling the Struggles of Identity in East of Eden

  • Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
    Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
  • Feb 20
Cal Trask’s Battle for Redemption: Unraveling the Struggles of Identity in East of Eden

In the iconic film East of Eden, directed by Elia Kazan and based on John Steinbeck’s novel, we are introduced to Cal Trask, a character whose complexity reveals the inner turmoil of a man caught between the pull of inherited darkness and the desire for personal redemption. As the story unfolds, we witness Cal grappling with the demons of his past, particularly the shadow of his father’s rejection and his brother’s seeming perfection. But it is not just his family dynamics that shape his character – it is his deep-seated struggle with his own identity and his desperate search for love and acceptance that truly resonate.


The Weight of Family Legacy


Cal's journey is rooted in the age-old conflict of wanting to be loved by a parent while feeling the crushing weight of the past. In many ways, East of Eden is a tale of generational trauma. Cal’s father, Adam, seems to favor his brother Aron, creating a wedge that leaves Cal feeling isolated and desperate for approval. The classic Steinbeck motif of “the good son vs. the bad son” emerges as Cal is consumed by his need to be seen as worthy, to earn the love his father never freely gave.


However, Cal’s yearning for approval runs deeper than just his father’s affection. The world he inhabits, much like the world we live in today, is obsessed with labels, status, and the constant need to “prove” one's worth. Cal feels trapped in a cycle where the only way to break free is to rewrite the narrative handed to him. He tries to do this by attempting to provide his family with financial success – even if it means morally questionable actions, like profiting from the sale of beans that led to the destruction of another family’s business.


The Battle Between Good and Evil


At the heart of Cal’s struggle is the tension between good and evil, a duality that defines much of his emotional landscape. He longs to be seen as good, to be a hero in the eyes of those around him, especially his mother, Kate, whom he discovers is still alive and far from the image he had of her. Cal’s search for redemption intensifies as he confronts not only the reality of who his mother is but also who he fears he might become.


Steinbeck’s narrative is rich with themes of free will and choice. Cal is faced with the question: Can he overcome his perceived flaws and carve out a better future for himself, or is he doomed to inherit the sins of his family’s past? This is the true essence of East of Eden – the exploration of human nature and the potential for growth and change even in the darkest of circumstances.



The Moment of Redemption


In the final moments of East of Eden, Cal’s struggle reaches a pinnacle when he attempts to give his father a gift in an effort to seek reconciliation. In a heart-wrenching scene, his father’s rejection sends Cal into an emotional spiral, yet it also serves as a critical moment of self-realization. This moment of emotional vulnerability highlights a central truth: true redemption does not come from others’ approval or validation but from within. It is only when Cal embraces his own humanity and decides to accept himself, flaws and all, that he can begin the process of healing.


Reflecting on Cal's Journey


Cal’s story is not just about a character from a novel or film. It’s a narrative that many can relate to – the longing for love, the struggle with identity, and the fight for personal redemption. His journey asks us important questions about our own lives: Are we defined by the mistakes of our past, or do we have the power to change and create our own destiny? Can we break free from the expectations of others and find peace within ourselves?


So, here’s the question: How much of your identity do you think is shaped by your past, and how much of it can you actively rewrite?


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