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How to Help Someone Who's Struggling: Supporting a Friend Through Depression and Overwhelm

Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-TrainingJulie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
9 hours ago

Supporting a friend through depression requires patience, empathy, and understanding, as they navigate their personal challenges. By offering a non-judgmental space and encouraging professional help, you can be a crucial source of comfort and stability during their difficult journey.

How to Help Someone Who's Struggling: Supporting a Friend Through Depression and Overwhelm

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel like we’re all juggling a million things at once—work, relationships, personal goals, and the never-ending pursuit of success. But for some people, this overwhelming load isn’t just a passing feeling; it’s a constant weight on their shoulders. Depression and stress can make even the most basic tasks seem impossible. As a friend or loved one, you may notice these signs of struggle, but knowing how to offer support can feel challenging.


Recognizing the Signs


Depression isn’t just about feeling “down” or sad. It can manifest in many different ways, and sometimes, it’s not immediately visible. Someone who is overwhelmed by life may appear distant, tired, or emotionally numb. They might struggle to get out of bed, cancel plans frequently, or seem uninterested in things they once enjoyed. It’s important to be aware of subtle shifts in behavior and emotional expression. Here are some common signs of depression and overwhelm to look out for:


  • Withdrawal from social activities or relationships

  • Extreme fatigue or difficulty concentrating

  • Apathy or lack of interest in things they once enjoyed

  • Constant feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or hopelessness

  • Physical symptoms like headaches or changes in appetite or sleep patterns


Creating a Safe Space for Them


If you recognize these signs in a friend or loved one, one of the most important things you can do is create a safe space for them to open up. Often, people with depression and overwhelming stress feel isolated, as if no one truly understands what they’re going through. Simply listening without judgment can have a profound impact.


Ask them how they’re doing in a gentle, non-intrusive way, and give them the space to talk at their own pace. Try to avoid offering unsolicited advice or attempting to “fix” their problems right away. Sometimes, the best way to help is by being a calm and present listener.



Offer Practical Help


While emotional support is essential, practical assistance can also make a world of difference. When someone is feeling overwhelmed, even everyday tasks can feel impossible. Offering to help with things like household chores, running errands, or preparing meals can alleviate some of the burdens they’re carrying. Small, thoughtful gestures—like offering to take them to a therapy appointment or sending them a comforting text—show them that they’re not alone.


However, it’s crucial to respect their boundaries. Don’t push them into accepting help if they aren’t ready, but let them know you’re there when they need it.



Encourage Professional Support


While your support as a friend is invaluable, it’s also important to recognize that professional help is often necessary for someone struggling with depression. Encourage them to speak with a therapist or counselor, and offer to help them find resources or make an appointment. Therapy can provide a safe, nonjudgmental space for them to explore their feelings and develop strategies to cope with their challenges.


If they resist seeking professional help, let them know it’s okay to take small steps. Sometimes, the thought of seeing a therapist can be intimidating, but even a single phone call or consultation can be a huge first step toward healing.


Be Patient and Compassionate


Supporting someone through depression and overwhelm is not a quick fix. Healing takes time, and the road can be long and difficult. It’s important to be patient and recognize that their emotional state won’t change overnight. Celebrate small victories along the way, like a good conversation or a moment where they laugh or show interest in something.


Compassion is key. Instead of focusing on what they “should” be doing or how they “should” be feeling, remind them that it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Reassure them that they are worthy of love, care, and support, even during their most difficult moments.


Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself


Supporting someone with depression and overwhelm can be emotionally draining. It’s important to take care of your own mental health, too. Set healthy boundaries and find time for self-care. If you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself, whether that’s through therapy, friends, or other coping mechanisms.


Being there for someone who is struggling doesn’t mean you have to carry their burden alone. It’s okay to lean on others and find ways to recharge so you can continue offering support.


The Bottom Line


When someone we care about is struggling with depression or feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to feel helpless. But the truth is, your support can make all the difference. Sometimes, all someone needs is to feel seen, heard, and loved. You don’t have to have all the answers—just your presence, patience, and empathy can be a powerful balm for their pain.


So, how can you be a source of light for someone in the darkest times of their life?


 

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How Borderline Personality Disorder and Stress Intertwine – And What You Can Do About It

Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-TrainingJulie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
1 day ago

Borderline Personality Disorder and stress often intertwine, creating a cycle where intense emotional reactions make everyday stressors feel overwhelming. As individuals with BPD experience heightened sensitivity, even small triggers can escalate into profound emotional turmoil, amplifying their stress levels.

How Borderline Personality Disorder and Stress Intertwine – And What You Can Do About It

Mental health is a topic that's been gaining more attention in recent years, and for good reason. Among the many conditions that affect people’s emotional well-being, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and stress often go hand-in-hand, creating a cycle of emotional turmoil that can feel impossible to break. But understanding how these two interact can be the first step toward taking control of your mental health.


For individuals with BPD, stress isn't just a passing inconvenience—it can feel like a tidal wave, pushing them toward overwhelming emotional reactions and behaviors. But here’s the good news: the daily practice of self-reminders and mindfulness can be an effective way to regain balance and manage the impact of stress.


Borderline Personality Disorder and Stress: A Tight Grip


Borderline Personality Disorder is marked by intense emotional reactions, unstable relationships, and a fear of abandonment. People with BPD often feel emotions more intensely than others, which can make dealing with everyday stress an uphill battle. The stress response in someone with BPD can escalate quickly—what seems like a small trigger can provoke an overwhelming emotional reaction, sending them into a spiral.


Add to that the natural stressors of life—work, relationships, financial pressures—and it’s easy to see how stress can compound, making it harder to manage BPD symptoms.

But, why does stress feel so much more intense for those with BPD? It’s because the emotional regulation systems in the brain can be less responsive, making it harder for individuals to return to a state of calm once triggered. This heightened emotional sensitivity is what makes stress not just uncomfortable, but often unbearable.


The Power of Self-Reminders: A Tool for Regaining Control


The good news is that while BPD and stress can feel overwhelming, there are strategies to help manage both. One of the most powerful tools in this journey is the simple practice of self-reminders. By incorporating daily affirmations and grounding techniques into your routine, you can start to reshape how you respond to stress and difficult emotions.

Here are a few self-reminder strategies that can make a difference:


  1. Start with Grounding Techniques: When stress begins to build, grounding techniques help pull you back into the present moment. A quick but effective method is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, where you identify:

    • 5 things you can see,

    • 4 things you can touch,

    • 3 things you can hear,

    • 2 things you can smell,

    • 1 thing you can taste. This exercise helps distract the mind from stressors and reconnect you with your environment.


  2. Affirmations for Emotional Stability: Remind yourself daily that your emotions do not define you. Simple affirmations like, “I am allowed to feel, but I can also choose how to respond,” can be grounding. Write these reminders on sticky notes, set them as phone notifications, or say them out loud when you feel stressed.


  3. Mindful Breathing: Stress often leads to shallow, rapid breathing, which can further fuel anxiety. Practice deep breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6) to calm your nervous system. This simple action sends a message to your brain that you are in control, even if emotions are running high.


  4. Daily Reflection and Journaling: At the end of each day, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what triggered stress. Journaling about your feelings can help you gain clarity, track patterns, and understand the sources of your stress. Writing can be a powerful tool to break down overwhelming emotions and make them more manageable.


  5. Embrace Self-Compassion: One of the toughest things for people with BPD is self-criticism. Being kind to yourself and practicing self-compassion can be a game-changer. Remind yourself that it’s okay to struggle and that recovery is a journey, not a race. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and be gentle with yourself when things feel hard.


The Key to Breaking the Cycle: Consistency


Like any new habit, the key to success with self-reminders is consistency. It’s not about waiting for the “perfect moment” or expecting immediate results; it’s about integrating these practices into your daily life so they become automatic. When self-reminders become second nature, you’ll find yourself more capable of handling stress, reducing emotional reactivity, and creating space for healing.


Conclusion:


Living with BPD and managing stress may feel like an endless battle at times, but by practicing self-reminders and taking small, intentional steps every day, you can gradually build resilience. Each reminder is a step closer to mastering your emotions and breaking the cycle of stress that often defines your experience.


Question to Ponder: What’s one self-reminder you can implement today that will help you manage your stress and BPD symptoms more effectively?


 

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The Healing Power of Play: How Video Game Therapy Can Help Heal Depression from Unresolved Trauma

Writer: Julie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-TrainingJulie Barris | Crisis Counselor | Therapist-in-Training
2 days ago

Video Game Therapy can help heal depression by providing an immersive and interactive experience that encourages emotional processing and skill-building. Through tailored game experiences, players can confront their trauma in a safe, engaging environment, fostering healing and personal growth.

The Healing Power of Play: How Video Game Therapy Can Help Heal Depression from Unresolved Trauma

Video games, once just a form of entertainment, have increasingly found their way into therapeutic settings for a variety of mental health conditions. Research has shown that games can be a valuable tool in treating depression, anxiety, PTSD, and addiction, offering an immersive, engaging experience that traditional therapy methods may not always provide. Among the games gaining recognition for their therapeutic potential is Robo Cat Story, a game designed to assist players in processing emotions like grief and survivor’s guilt.


The Growing Role of Video Games in Therapy


A growing body of research has found that video games can offer much more than simple distraction—they can help individuals confront and process deep-seated trauma. Studies have shown that video games, when used in therapy, help with skill-building, like problem-solving and decision-making, and even social interactions by simulating real-life situations in a safe space. In addition, video games track progress in a measurable, objective way, providing constant feedback that’s invaluable to therapeutic work.


One groundbreaking approach, the Video Game Therapy® (VGT®), places the game experience at the heart of therapy. VGT® tailors the game type and experience to an individual’s personality and therapeutic goals using tools like the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) (Bocci, Ferrari, & Sarini, 2023). With this approach, video games become personalized therapeutic tools that assist in emotional processing and development, especially for those struggling with unresolved trauma.


Robo Cat Story: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing


In the realm of gaming therapy, Robo Cat Story stands out as a prime example of how a game can facilitate emotional exploration. Set in a fictional town, players control Dill, who rides in a robot cat named CAT, battling "Soul Pops" and confronting complex emotions like grief, loss, and trauma. The game’s storyline mirrors the journey many people experience in overcoming depression and survivor’s guilt, making it an excellent tool for emotional processing.


Each map in Robo Cat Story presents challenges that feel relatable to those experiencing unresolved emotional pain, encouraging players to confront their struggles in an engaging, interactive way. As players progress through the game, they’re encouraged to think critically, solve problems, and adapt—all of which can transfer to real-life emotional resilience.



The Science Behind Video Game Therapy


Studies show that video games, when integrated into therapy, offer a unique advantage over traditional methods. For example, the Video Game Therapy® (VGT®) approach has been shown to promote emotional literacy, social connection, and identity development, which are key aspects of recovering from trauma (Bocci, Ferrari, & Sarini, 2023). It helps players engage in emotional experimentation in a low-risk, controlled environment.


This approach is grounded in Adlerian therapy, which emphasizes self-awareness, community feeling, and social interest. By aligning video games with therapeutic goals, VGT® makes the healing process both dynamic and engaging. This method has shown promising results in helping players work through their emotional struggles and trauma, especially in cases where traditional methods may fall short (Bocci, Ferrari, & Sarini, 2023).


Could Video Games Be the Key to Healing?


With its ability to immerse players in complex emotional narratives and offer immediate feedback, video game therapy could be the future of mental health treatment for those struggling with depression or trauma. It provides a safe space to work through emotions, face fears, and build resilience—all while keeping the player engaged and empowered.

As we continue to explore the potential of gaming in mental health, Robo Cat Story and similar games could offer groundbreaking opportunities for healing and self-discovery. So, could the next step in your emotional healing journey be through the lens of a video game?


Question to Ponder: How can incorporating immersive video games into mental health treatment change the way we approach trauma recovery? Could games be the new frontier in healing?


Reference:

Bocci, F., Ferrari, A., & Sarini, M. (2023). Putting the Gaming Experience at the Center of the Therapy-The Video Game Therapy® Approach. Healthcare (Basel, Switzerland), 11(12), 1767. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare11121767


 

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